Health: Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered...

There is this new type of cleansing bar, its called soap. No seriously, just use it with a bit of water and it gets rid of that gym-sock stench under your arms. Quite revolutionary, I must say.

Youd_laugh_2 0

Monday 14 December 2009 23:52

If you can't find the shower how could you find the doctor?

quackquackquac 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 0:07

I saw this in Mad magazine (i don't really know what it's called... i just randomly picked it up at the library.)

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The Top

Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally called her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister, and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 3 687

Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 832

You deserved it 3 067

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 837

You deserved it 62 114

Today, my therapist broke up with me after almost 3 years. I can’t pay people to listen to my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 306

Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 559

You deserved it 288

Today, my alcoholic boyfriend, who's in jail for violating his conditional bond, told me I'd better not have even one drop of alcohol while he's gone. Oh, and he expects $250 of commissary each week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 628

Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan. How did that happen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 103