Work: Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought...

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By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 325

You deserved it 39 922

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Same thing different taste

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 16:39 - United States

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 3 545

By jeezy - 23/02/2009 10:35 - Canada

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 371

You deserved it 3 295

By milkymoo - 30/05/2011 01:45 - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 623

You deserved it 49 935

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 014

You deserved it 14 109

By imsadnow - 31/01/2011 20:01 - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 149

You deserved it 7 297

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 151

You deserved it 12 200

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 371

You deserved it 15 878

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 301

You deserved it 4 933

By Spudzy - 11/04/2012 16:46 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 445

You deserved it 44 973

Thanks!

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 806

You deserved it 3 085

poeticvibez07 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:17

that's what you get for being so damn cocky

plethora 3

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:19

You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".

Comments

plexico 3

Sunday 11 October 2009 14:43

Even the nicest blue eyes fail to impress when surrounded by a frame of pustulating, red zits. They completely saw that your "gentleman" act was a fraud. What do you mean you BEGAN to act like a gentleman? Did you catch your drool, stuff your tongue back in your head and unclutch your turgid weiner as you walked toward them?

ChronicFAIL 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 14:51

:O ! You shouldn't say you hate blue eyes! Whats next?? Jews? Blacks??? :P

ChronicFAIL 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 14:59

Heyhey!! I moderated this one. It did look familiar... O_o

Amysbodybetrayal 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 15:56

I still fail to see it. I think brown eyes look wonderful! Maybe it's just me, but they remind me of chocolate, not shit. And fluttering eyelashes just looks kinda stupid. My friend and I will flutter our eyelashes at each other as a joke because we know how dumb we look when we do that.

FromCFL 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:25

They probably figured you were gay, what with all the acting & eye-flashing & all, & so assumed you'd have info on the hotties....

machete_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:37

correct answer: of course. (and carry on with the conversation)

timtam24 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:59

haha yeah my friends and i do that to. If OP did the fluttering eye thing he would've looked like the biggest dick.

satanstoystore 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 17:43

this is not an fml. she gave you important feedback. your idea of attracting women 1) doesnt work and 2) isnt their idea. you also avoided getting complicated with a shallow, thoughtless bitch. this is a win. now learn to flirt!

Amysbodybetrayal 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 17:45

Hahah the friend that flutters his lashes with me is a guy, and he looks kinda creepy when he does it. xD Not a great way to pick up chicks, in my opinion.