Intimacy: Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson....

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 9 045

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Same thing different taste

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 712

You deserved it 4 272

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 632

You deserved it 8 171

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 162

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 9 041

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 706

You deserved it 9 332

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 9 787

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 124

You deserved it 13 042

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 230

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 155

Tarak_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

We've all been there......

darrenchan 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

I think you need help.

Comments

jaewow 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:43

Wow u do need to get laid

bevsta 7

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:46

Least it wasn't Maggie

SILVERSTAR_6 17

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:51

^lmfaooo lol XD this is the funniest fml I ever read!

KhronicSmoke 2

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:51

Well who hasn't dreamed about Marge Simpson?

ThatLooksSticky 16

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:54

You have good taste! Her Playboy spread was super hot.

Gryphus0204 1

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:01

You'll get there

JanetBaby 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:17

Lmfao wow next its gunna be louis :)

chemman5 12

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:31

is "lois"

theEROX12 4

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:17

I once had a wet dream about selina gomez...it was BEAST

charlotte100 2

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:39

She was featured in playboy so don't feel too bad.

omnipotency 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:44

hot as ****!

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The Top

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off." She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 4 406

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, my live-in mother-in-law gave away the family dog because it’s "one less mouth to feed." Last week, she "accidentally" threw away the mail, thinking it was junk mail. No matter how hard I try to convince my wife to kick her out, she tells me, "But that’s my mother, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 159

Today, I’m kicking myself for buying and setting up an elaborate cat tree I thought my cats would love. The second I was done, they walked over to it, sniffed around, and went to sleep in the box it came in instead, and won’t go near the darn thing. It might as well be a $200 cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 288

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 126

You deserved it 6 081

Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 186

Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 437

You deserved it 1 316

Today, I realized my best friend has turned into a penpal, as we never see each other, and only text about once a month. She was my only friend outside of family, and now I feel crushingly lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 115