Intimacy: Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson....

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 9 045

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Same thing different taste

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 712

You deserved it 4 272

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 632

You deserved it 8 171

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 162

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 9 041

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 706

You deserved it 9 332

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 9 787

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 124

You deserved it 13 042

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 230

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 155

Tarak_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

We've all been there......

darrenchan 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

I think you need help.

Comments

69chick69 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:12

I think you should be concerned o_O

decidedlyvague 11

Wednesday 12 October 2011 3:24

Says the babe from Hercules.

69chick69 7

Wednesday 12 October 2011 21:50

This better?

mrbattleman 10

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:13

idk, she is pretty hot

thisisafunnyname 12

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:13

its probably some weird symbolism for an asian person

JayAyyEmm 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:14

Go buy a blow up doll if need be.

Zomg_Okay 26

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:22

You've no control over what your dreams are about, OP. I wouldn't be too worried.

oops_im_fucked 8

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:24

At least it wasn't about homer...

elektronictapes 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:29

if you have one about meg from family guy, then you should be worried.

kkmwong 11

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:32

Wow lucky you, wet dreams are awesome.

TritonTheBeast 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:36

I woke up to one about Whitney from that new show so...

TheSmoothDude 10

Wednesday 12 October 2011 4:12

She's pretty hot so it's all good.

malignantmegan 3

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:38

DOH!!!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 281

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

The Top

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 941

You deserved it 8 713

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 694

You deserved it 5 953

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 540

You deserved it 12 508

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 1 473

Today, I’m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again. I’m 7 months pregnant. My husband says he’ll leave me if I ever get too fat after I give birth. I can’t afford to be a single mom, nor leave the marriage, so this is the cross I have to bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 260

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 688

You deserved it 6 828