Intimacy: Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson....

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 9 045

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Same thing different taste

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 712

You deserved it 4 272

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 632

You deserved it 8 171

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 162

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 9 041

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 706

You deserved it 9 332

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 9 787

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 124

You deserved it 13 042

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 230

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 155

Tarak_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

We've all been there......

darrenchan 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

I think you need help.

Comments

FrostieFrost 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:41

Can't tell if trolling or just plain weird...

docscientist 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:45

The question is, were you a cartoon?

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 11 October 2011 23:59

Well at least it wasn't about Homer Simpson?

CHOMP3R 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:07

Or maybe you just need a little help from your hand.

Sadist86 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:10

Better than Rosie O'Donnell. Yes, I'm guilty.

MrsAgony 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:13

Hahah well that's not weird at all...

SPC117 5

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:23

FML? more like DOH!!!

Commander223 9

Wednesday 12 October 2011 3:04

Well, she IS really hot. We've all been there...

Person1233 12

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:30

Hey, at least you aren't having sexual fantasies about My Little Pony. Although to millions on the internet, that's perfectly acceptable.

Arivien 3

Thursday 13 October 2011 4:41

...isn't it?

Bofferding_fml 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:35

Well consider yourself lucky that it wasn't about Maggie.

kevin27_fml 3

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:38

d'oh!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of five years has been cheating on me with other women from all the hickeys and scratch marks he has. But to top it off, he's slowly been moving out for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 247

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 699

You deserved it 3 898

The Top

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 426

You deserved it 3 983

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 225

You deserved it 6 072

Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 120

You deserved it 344

Today, I realized that over the past few months, I seem to be getting more and more prone to bumping into things, and tripping over nothing. I'm also apparently more prone to getting injured when this happens. I've always been uncoordinated, but this is getting out of hand. I'm falling apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 114

Today, the place where I’m living is so small that after changing my shower curtain, I felt like I’d changed my whole apartment’s decoration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 72

Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 329