Intimacy: Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson.... - FML

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Spicy

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 9 045

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Same thing different taste

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 712

You deserved it 4 272

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Spicy

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 632

You deserved it 8 171

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 162

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 9 041

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Spicy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 706

You deserved it 9 332

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 9 787

Leave Me Alone

By gordogs 25 - 04/04/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 124

You deserved it 13 042

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 230

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Spicy

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 155

Next

Top comments

Tarak_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

We've all been there......

darrenchan 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:23

I think you need help.

Comments

rocker_chick105 31

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:44

Its better than the guy who had an intense dream about bacon...

Person1233 12

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:24

Don't talk shit about bacon.

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 12 October 2011 1:14

Don't talk shit about Total.

Yetifoot 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 7:59

**** SALT!

trollsemen 8

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:44

Dude why would you need help? She's hot as hell.

ShadowLuffer 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:49

No shit Sherlock. :3

hannahcorrine 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:49

Wait...that's not normal?? >>

perdix 29

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:50

You shouldn't have any trouble nailing a blue-haired lady in real life, that is, if you don't mind if she's north of 80;)

jbh85 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:51

Nice

tinkerbell2oo8 4

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:52

if u get off by that you may need to look up this porno with all the disney characters u may just be in heaven then (fyi: found my brother watching that)

Salkadi 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:55

That's just way too much information

RebekahBrooke 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:55

I think you need to stop watching the Simpsons..

tangooscarmike 4

Thursday 13 October 2011 2:41

Let's see you control your mind when you sleep, how many times have you had a lesbian fantasy about Justin "The Beav" Beiber?

Arivien 3

Thursday 13 October 2011 4:42

Hostile much?

TheSmoothDude 10

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:58

At least It wasn't Lisa.

Joey44 15

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:23

Or Maggie >>

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Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Cute Animals Dogs Sleep My ex Shopping Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 198

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 978

You deserved it 4 590

The Top

Today, after I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip, my music app decided to shuffle exclusively between sea shanties and children's nursery rhymes, turning my drive into a surreal musical adventure that left me questioning the algorithm's sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 192

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 172

You deserved it 2 551

Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 087

You deserved it 357

Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 249

You deserved it 5 205

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 2 756

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 2 988