Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 922

You deserved it 50 995

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Same thing different taste

Great idea

By aridaley - 21/05/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 016

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 791

You deserved it 2 046

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 489

You deserved it 19 825

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 108

You deserved it 33 478

By not a dumbass pothead - 08/04/2014 22:04 - United States - Sparks

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 801

You deserved it 46 716

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

New kink unlocked

By sausages - 17/01/2014 20:56 - Macedonia - Skopje

Spicy

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 173

You deserved it 8 444

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 21:56 - Sweden - V?llingby

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 39 724

Inked

By damnit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 946

You deserved it 64 708

Next

Top comments

mfinn 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:00

ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot

bwynin 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:02

Because a proff tattoo would be better?

Comments

ffmmllyaya 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:07

nice...

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 8 January 2010 21:10

sup Edward Penishands

wtsc 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:19

This is rediculous....

jhills1215 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:45

what an idiot

buttshapedfruit 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:49

dumbass

terror_twins 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:50

hahaha your fault! good job

depleetme 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:53

that I'd love to see ;D

I_am_stupid_also 6

Friday 8 January 2010 21:56

Well aren't you a glass-half-empty type of person. Look on the positive for a change. Now when she gets drunk she can just suck on her arm and not worry about what kind of bugs are crawling on whatever guy she meets at the bar.

Pablothe 0

Friday 8 January 2010 22:03

upload it to ugliest tattoos!

Viper32233223 0

Friday 8 January 2010 22:04

totally fake

newsgit 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:12

way to go, thank you for informing me of that. Proof? Reasoning?

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The Top

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

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You deserved it 9 535

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 7 731

You deserved it 27 751

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I agree, your life sucks 6 629

You deserved it 1 537

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I agree, your life sucks 63 835

You deserved it 4 564