Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/05/2011 18:49 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 025

You deserved it 3 845

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 2 841

Not a night owl

By Fail - 04/02/2023 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 288

By something - 16/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 2 555

By makeyourselfathome - 17/09/2014 12:18 - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 514

You deserved it 3 025

By vinniesuckmadack - 24/04/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 455

You deserved it 37 985

By rhplb - 17/05/2016 13:10 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 900

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 23:07 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 403

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

By blackvogue - 01/04/2009 10:42 - Canada

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 422

You deserved it 168 126

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 366

Next

Top comments

ceinaworus 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:31

so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.

j_cat187 19

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:40

with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.

Comments

this_female 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:45

hahahahahah

BofaDeesNuts 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:16

u fine

spartanfan68 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:42

u not

zach456 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:41

come to my house sometime please

Haydenob 0

Monday 2 May 2011 5:22

haha ewwww she's not Fine at all!!

leeshxx 3

Monday 2 May 2011 6:46

agreed with 127

mikeduse 0

Monday 2 May 2011 7:32

agreed^ she's got a butter face, everythings great, but her face!

DeadxManxWalking 27

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:46

burglar?

jadee000 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:48

OUCH! 

RAGEEEE 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:22

my thoughts indeed...

KerryBear 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:55

Bet you'll turn the light on next time.

FFML_314 11

Monday 2 May 2011 0:01

This sounds like the start of a really raunchy porno.

kinga08 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:04

Throw those steel capped boots into his bed while he is in it sleeping. Who the **** leaves steel capped boots in the kitchen? Does he not have a closet or is he just that lazy?

dreamering 16

Monday 2 May 2011 0:16

Read the story again. Boots don't fly by themselves.

kinga08 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:51

Why, I apologize. I read "my brother's steel capped boots" instead of "my brother and his..."

imcheerish 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:04

I bet he was a steel!

tony1234 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:58

wow

HahaYDI 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:11

Why the Hell did neither of you turn a light on?

Felipeg33 0

Monday 2 May 2011 9:11

they probably wanted to have sex. yay for incest!

MyHandIsADolphin 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:11

24 if you were smart enough to read the FML before you posted that, you would have realized he was wearing the boots

duckiecrazy 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:18

totally agree wit 28. maybe u dyed ur hair blond for a reason

kinga08 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:36

I was smart enough to realize my mistake and admit it. There is no need to call me stupid and make unnecessary blonde jokes. I misread the FML, it's an honest mistake. I don't need to defend my intelligence to people who don't know me and I will never meet. I love the high horse that people on FML are always on.

duckiecrazy 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:40

It was meant to be taken as a joke. I was just agreeing, no need to be defensive

lalalalalalalala_fml 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:03

32- That was a bad joke.

tona01 16

Monday 2 May 2011 2:03

63 your "joke" is just a bitch fit :) have an awfully boring life

briidontgive_ 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:30

Bad joke indeed, I misread the fml same way as king did, I bet plenty others did too, that's no reason to be rude.

mikeduse 0

Monday 2 May 2011 7:35

btw 32 u look like a ****** pedo girl whose trying to be sexy but really you look like an idiot

s3xymoma 1

Monday 2 May 2011 0:16

dam that must of hurt op

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You deserved it 131

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I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 1 510

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I agree, your life sucks 46 165

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I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 1 885

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I agree, your life sucks 36 906

You deserved it 4 919

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I agree, your life sucks 43 282

You deserved it 4 387

Today, my coworkers threw me a going away lunch, since I’m moving on to a better opportunity. Nothing reminds you why you’re leaving like being the last person to your own party, and picking over the minuscule amount of food scraps that are left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 295