Kids: Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By beya - 31/08/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 996

You deserved it 5 897

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 713

You deserved it 5 587

By Scabby - 11/04/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 511

You deserved it 3 643

By Lorena - 21/04/2012 19:26 - United States - Kapolei

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 3 248

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 473

You deserved it 5 680

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 414

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 229

You deserved it 4 778

By sickmom - 21/01/2014 11:07 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 631

You deserved it 5 526

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 153

By Spotted - 18/02/2009 22:09 - Canada

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 329

You deserved it 3 974

By ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 766

You deserved it 3 440

Next

Top comments

Fernmelder 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:37

that is nasty

crazychika 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:38

Ewwwww! What a little bugger! Yea... here's one reason why I'm NOT having kids :P

Comments

hotissue 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 10:40

holy cow, that made me sick to my stomach. on the plus side your boy's going to have tons of scars

andimlikeyes 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 11:30

dude id be ******* pissed the **** right off lol

babaonia 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 12:29

talented child ^^

FMLMeetYDI 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 12:55

I'd be choking on chunks! At least that is a way to remember him forever. Cheers?

Peg_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 13:39

That made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

drummer_dude 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 14:21

Today, I read this FML. I threw up. FML

azure8787 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 16:20

oh gawd lol

johndaviddoe 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 17:33

OMFG... Beat him... beat him hard... until he bleeds!

Flymeister 3

Tuesday 1 September 2009 17:40

That is y i m not having kids.

Lucky444 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 17:52

While it is gross. It will be one of those memories you will laugh about when your kid has kid's of their own. FYL for not realizing how lucky you are to be making memories like this rather than having memories of your kid dying form cancer or not being able to have kids.

blondebutterfly8 5

Tuesday 1 September 2009 20:34

Aren't you a big ball of sunshine!

7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Cats My ex Transportation Awkward Vacation Family Annoying Health Work Accident Love Kids Babysitter Technology Dating Embarrassing Geek Poopoo peepee Proposal Autism Food Jealousy Frustration Sex Growing old Scary Gross Weird Cars

The Top

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently, I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 032

You deserved it 2 641

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 370

You deserved it 8 370

The Top

Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not only was my boyfriend a liar, but that he is also married, and has been for 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 119

You deserved it 280

Today, I arrived at the doctor's to schedule surgery to find out my insurance got canceled again. I only just got it reinstated after the last time they screwed up and canceled it. It took me 6 months to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 115

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 183

You deserved it 355

Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 137

You deserved it 252

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 005

You deserved it 1 633

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 919

You deserved it 2 148