Intimacy: Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it.... - FML

By AMIGODO - 12/02/2011 15:13 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 863

You deserved it 5 119

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Same thing different taste

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 546

You deserved it 773

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 3 333

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 472

You deserved it 7 480

By silvercity09 - 26/05/2009 03:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 009

You deserved it 64 043

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 374

You deserved it 7 034

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 141

You deserved it 2 122

By Brittany - 10/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 102

You deserved it 49 940

The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 121

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 12 428

By PmS - 08/03/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 648

You deserved it 3 344

Next

Top comments

nickinak2010 4

Saturday 12 February 2011 20:02

they were right, it is funny.

capnbzarr 43

Saturday 12 February 2011 20:11

Yes, they were right; that's hilarious. For my friend's 18th birthday, I gave him porno. His mom thought it was a lot funnier than he did.

Comments

Kitten16 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:31

COOL PARENTS

linnie44 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:56

that's hilarious. but sucks for you. that would have been embarrassing. but happy birthday!

Decodedman 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 3:27

FYL indeed. And... Ewww.

meowmeowwkitty 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 5:14

or she def needs to loosen up. as in HER, not literally her ******.

okieraider71 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 4:32

Use in front of them!

AnagenisisZagus 13

Sunday 13 February 2011 5:35

Do NOT let it go to waste young lady! With much love, Mom and Dad

UnanomousGurl 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:52

i Like ure parentz lol

lexi365 20

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:54

My boyfriend got me one for Christmas. It's not the end of the world

Angi95 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 7:13

hey parents didn't even get me a gift be happy lol at least u don't have to go to the store and buy one and get embarrassed then. I wish my family had that sense of humor.

keylinman 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 8:22

r y gonna use it?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Halloween Wanker Lonely Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings TikTok YouTube Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 171

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 037

You deserved it 617

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You deserved it 307

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I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 86

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 660

You deserved it 36 404

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I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 567

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You deserved it 642