Intimacy: Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it.... - FML

By AMIGODO - 12/02/2011 15:13 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 864

You deserved it 5 119

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Same thing different taste

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 548

You deserved it 776

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 195

You deserved it 3 333

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 475

You deserved it 7 481

By silvercity09 - 26/05/2009 03:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 011

You deserved it 64 044

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 377

You deserved it 7 037

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 142

You deserved it 2 122

By Brittany - 10/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 103

You deserved it 49 941

The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 122

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 446

You deserved it 12 428

By PmS - 08/03/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 650

You deserved it 3 344

Next

Top comments

nickinak2010 4

Saturday 12 February 2011 20:02

they were right, it is funny.

capnbzarr 43

Saturday 12 February 2011 20:11

Yes, they were right; that's hilarious. For my friend's 18th birthday, I gave him porno. His mom thought it was a lot funnier than he did.

Comments

Kitten16 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:31

COOL PARENTS

linnie44 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:56

that's hilarious. but sucks for you. that would have been embarrassing. but happy birthday!

Decodedman 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 3:27

FYL indeed. And... Ewww.

meowmeowwkitty 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 5:14

or she def needs to loosen up. as in HER, not literally her ******.

okieraider71 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 4:32

Use in front of them!

AnagenisisZagus 13

Sunday 13 February 2011 5:35

Do NOT let it go to waste young lady! With much love, Mom and Dad

UnanomousGurl 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:52

i Like ure parentz lol

lexi365 20

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:54

My boyfriend got me one for Christmas. It's not the end of the world

Angi95 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 7:13

hey parents didn't even get me a gift be happy lol at least u don't have to go to the store and buy one and get embarrassed then. I wish my family had that sense of humor.

keylinman 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 8:22

r y gonna use it?

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Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 318

The Top

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 10 414

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 280

You deserved it 2 223

Today my life revolves around nutrition mixes, feeding times, blankets, tooth problems, and the eternal question of what caused the diarrhea. Infants, right? Well no, actually: Very, very old horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 223

Today, I met my boyfriend’s female friend. We all went out to dinner, he paid for her meal instead of mine, asked me why I’m not a redhead like her, and when he dropped her off at her house, spent the entire hour car ride talking about how perfect she is. He still has no idea why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 166

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 943

You deserved it 8 713

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 126