Work: Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours...

By PC Jones - 20/09/2011 14:56 - Australia

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 458

You deserved it 3 220

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 567

You deserved it 4 614

By savanna(: - 12/02/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 110

You deserved it 17 847

On the fence

By fuckyouverymuch - 13/06/2013 10:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 983

You deserved it 26 783

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 2 465

No good deed…

By SCdriver - 16/07/2012 06:04 - United States - Lexington

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 234

You deserved it 36 244

By Jesse - 20/03/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 946

You deserved it 151 292

By Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - 12/11/2014 03:16 - United States - Spotswood

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 102

You deserved it 5 188

By annoyed - 10/02/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 710

You deserved it 18 357

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 465

You deserved it 1 271

By adogg18 - 29/05/2011 08:12 - United States

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 294

You deserved it 15 425

heylesha 8

Tuesday 20 September 2011 22:24

thats actually kinda funny!

StarWolf111 21

Tuesday 20 September 2011 22:23

Oh god.

Comments

SamanthaSaurus 13

Thursday 22 September 2011 19:33

Just join the party and have some fun. Pinkie Pie style.

tlconnor 0

Friday 23 September 2011 9:06

Sounds like my Dad! Sorry!

edendacosta 4

Friday 23 September 2011 13:17

Lol ur dad knows how to party...?

Amethyst99 2

Sunday 25 September 2011 9:21

fat cop no donut 4 u

DestinyRights 8

Tuesday 27 September 2011 18:46

LOL! Thats quite cool actually

briaa23 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:29

hahahahaha. well at least he knows that just because his son is a police officer that he won't get away with stuff

Wolfyin 1

Sunday 30 October 2011 20:23

Dis-own your father like now. owo

kleeweirdos 0

Wednesday 16 May 2012 7:19

Tough love

noYOUdo2much 0

Sunday 27 May 2012 21:02

Totally worth it to get to tell that story at Thanksgiving

tsizzleisback 3

Thursday 6 September 2012 1:27

Dude your dads a tank!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Parenting Jealousy Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Relatable Housework Embarrassing Work Awkward Transportation Cars Health Sports Accident Mental health Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 21 173

The Top

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 458

You deserved it 42 947

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 871

You deserved it 4 889

Today, I got congratulations at work for being "so focused" and "not spending time on my phone." I didn't have the heart to tell my manager I don't spend time on my phone because I have no friends to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 158

Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 859

You deserved it 991

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 3 958

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 2 119

Same thing different taste

On the fence

No good deed…

Get off my hood

Top comments

Comments