Intimacy: Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed...

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 14:24 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 825

You deserved it 13 091

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Same thing different taste

Specially for dad

By anonymous - 01/02/2020 20:00 - United States - Shawnee

Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 390

Life goals

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 890

By ppema - 31/07/2015 18:28 - United States

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 805

You deserved it 2 239

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 15:47 - United States - Rochester

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 850

You deserved it 4 096

By Anonymous - 08/05/2016 08:42

Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 2 669

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 824

You deserved it 51 708

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 295

You deserved it 7 890

By tamponmayhem - 09/03/2009 19:30 - Canada

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 876

You deserved it 15 419

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 486

You deserved it 8 346

By healthfreak - 07/09/2014 01:57 - United States - Marietta

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 4 214

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Thursday 11 July 2013 18:44

1 - Yes, yes she did :)

iLike2Teabag 27

Thursday 11 July 2013 18:53

Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.

Comments

ejayhayse 7

Friday 12 July 2013 2:34

Ouch

brittyboo123 35

Friday 12 July 2013 2:59

Kids these days are trading their virginity for candy.

graceinsheepwear 33

Saturday 13 July 2013 3:49

Yeah. Back in the day, nobody got candy. I know I didn't. And I like candy.

AllenRed 15

Friday 12 July 2013 3:23

It's disturbing to know innocent little girls are getting into that kinda stuff... I hope you do your best to keep her away from 'that' now that you know she's done it already.. .-.

SailorMoon921 7

Friday 12 July 2013 3:44

Beat her ass!

kee_breezy32 34

Friday 12 July 2013 4:09

OP needs to do a follow up! (;

saidoh_fml 26

Friday 12 July 2013 4:31

Yikes! And here I was freaking out about the fml a few weeks/months back about the twelve year old daughter trying to queef. This clearly takes the cake.

Brilliant66star 17

Friday 12 July 2013 4:44

YDI. When does a typical 13-year-old find the time/opportunity for sex? Between school, friends & family, sports, social networking and extra-curricular activities your daughter found a way to expose herself to the several risks implicit in teen sex. Where's the supervision? What about guidance and limits? Clearly, as independent as she is, your daughter isn't yet able to provide these things for herself. On the bright side, at least you've still got time to parent her before she's out there voting, driving, wielding arms, drinking and getting tattooed/pierced. You may want to learn whether she's already engaging in some of these underage in addition to the sex and drinking. Good luck; I'm sure you can condense an entire childhood of discernment, ethics, reserve, self-esteem, setting boundaries and all else necessary into the five years left until she has any real legal responsibility for her actions.

TheLegend_SamIAm 7

Friday 12 July 2013 5:44

this floored me. I heard about kids starting early these day s but not THIS early

graceinsheepwear 33

Saturday 13 July 2013 4:19

It's been that way since the late 60s st least. Nothing new or different about this era except that sex can kill you now if you don't protect yourself.