Kids: Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 16:48 - United States

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 909

You deserved it 6 013

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Same thing different taste

By Sadmom - 17/09/2009 23:58 - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 617

You deserved it 5 356

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 136

By confusedphotographer - 19/04/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 865

You deserved it 64 208

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 211

You deserved it 5 799

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 955

You deserved it 7 529

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

By GidleyWife - 30/07/2015 17:22 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 372

You deserved it 2 407

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

There you go

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 01:30

Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 933

You deserved it 1 579

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 463

You deserved it 8 356

inthemillions 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:22

Uhm. Nail polish remover?

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:16

*simultaneously* Is it just me or is everyone thinking the sa- woah, that was weird o.o

Comments

marcranger 28

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:06

ah, fml. a constant reminder of why I need to keep refilling my birth control prescription.

Violacatt 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:07

Just clean it off with nail polish remover. Or acitane. That's one problem than is solvable.

scottyrocks123 21

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:08

not the end of the world, nail polish remover is here

xoCOURTNIEox 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:17

haha wow..sucks

Jackmangold 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:17

now your mom can't walk in behind you and say hi to your boyfriend

twister21_fml 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:21

OMG!! LOL SHE COULD HVE PUT A PRETTIER COLOR THOUGH!!

enonymous 8

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:25

Thank god now she doesn't have to watch you stripping on the webcam! she is a genius

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:30

I am surprised she could open the lid those things are hard to open. well keep it out of you kids reach if you don't want this to happen ydi op.

Pinson18 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:33

your fault nail polish shouldn't be within reach of any 3 yr old

ThickHead 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:48

nail polish remover will work great. xD

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Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 514

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

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You deserved it 5 987

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I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 437

Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 144

Today, I found out my parents only got pregnant with me because they were desperate for a bone marrow match for my brother, who ended up dying before I was born, and who I had no idea existed. What’s even more messed up is that they gave me his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 90

Today, I arrived in Tokyo and went to stay overnight in a teeny airport cabin hotel with shared bathroom facilities. I used the little wicker baskets to put my clothes on and when I came out of the shower, I found someone had stolen my favorite top. Who steals dirty clothes?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 370

Today, I was on the phone with Microsoft Customer Service for about a total of 2 hours. That's the longest I've ever talked to anybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 114

You deserved it 4 460

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 715

You deserved it 3 983

Same thing different taste

Primitive art

There you go

Great start

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