Kids: Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in...

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 121

You deserved it 13 073

Back to school: Courses and confusion
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Unresolved issues

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 15:00

Today, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, since I work all the time and hardly ever get time off. She wanted to play Minecraft, so played it with her. Have you ever been killed over and over in a video game by an 8 year-old? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 712

You deserved it 5 759

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 099

You deserved it 4 719

By poohanne - 12/01/2013 06:36 - United States - Ville Platte

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 10 250

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 021

You deserved it 213

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 661

You deserved it 3 050

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 3 440

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 9 431

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 7 129

Not her fault neither mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 530

You deserved it 461

kurodansei 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 23:24

Discipline. Use it.

alexmac222 17

Thursday 16 January 2014 23:27

Must not hurt too bad considering you don't have balls to discipline and discuss your daughter's actions with her. She's 7! Come on, man! Grow a pair.

Comments

kakakarotcake 17

Friday 17 January 2014 2:42

I know what you can do OP. It's this controversial thing called be a parent, and discipline your child.

Neesalun 20

Friday 17 January 2014 2:47

You need to put your foot down.

tukies 28

Friday 17 January 2014 3:01

Quit being afraid of your daughter OP. If she's getting away with this at home, what in the hell is she getting away with at school? She needs to know this isn't right.

blvcklvnd69 14

Friday 17 January 2014 3:09

Don't spare the rod.

krad204 21

Friday 17 January 2014 3:25

Just take away her favorite toy..

fergnasty 14

Friday 17 January 2014 3:26

Beat your kid!!

weveallbeenthere 30

Friday 17 January 2014 3:29

you are a parent! Start acting like one...

Dcm210 19

Friday 17 January 2014 3:29

Hit her in the groin, problem solved.

beaverteaser 16

Friday 17 January 2014 3:31

is she honey boo boo?

Muttley9 13

Friday 17 January 2014 3:32

Sometimes parenting comes down to "I am bigger than you are and I am going to beat the crap out of you!" Not to permanently injure the child, but to teach them never to do that thing again. Good luck.

Sheh_fml 25

Friday 17 January 2014 6:53

No. No sane parent would want scare their children into obedience by threatening them with violence. All that teaches is that they should never ever trust their parents or admit anything resembling failure to them. Fear is not respect.

littlekellilee 45

Friday 17 January 2014 18:05

When I was little and my brother and I were bad, mom would come in and set a wooden spoon down, then leave. We'd be much better after that. She never hit us with it. We both love our mom, and she's one of most supportive people ever. I've never feared her. If you fear telling the parent then you know you've done something wrong already and just chatting about it will suffice.