Kids: Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in...

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 124

You deserved it 13 074

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Same thing different taste

Unresolved issues

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 15:00

Today, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, since I work all the time and hardly ever get time off. She wanted to play Minecraft, so played it with her. Have you ever been killed over and over in a video game by an 8 year-old? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 5 759

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 4 719

By poohanne - 12/01/2013 06:36 - United States - Ville Platte

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 10 253

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 3 051

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 9 432

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 194

You deserved it 7 131

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 535

You deserved it 462

kurodansei 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 23:24

Discipline. Use it.

alexmac222 17

Thursday 16 January 2014 23:27

Must not hurt too bad considering you don't have balls to discipline and discuss your daughter's actions with her. She's 7! Come on, man! Grow a pair.

Comments

AnonymousBoyee 6

Friday 17 January 2014 1:40

Put her in time out... For 12 hours

fergnasty 14

Friday 17 January 2014 4:34

At what point what point in life did you become an absolute pussy? You're acting like this child needs to be put on a ******* pedestal. She's doing something that in public is illegal. Teach her right from wrong. I'm not advocating kicking the kids ass but give her a quick smack, a good scolding and a few days without her toys and I bet she will be fine. Jesus Christ man I would hate your kids. Seems like they walk all over you're ass....

gracehi 31

Friday 17 January 2014 13:56

Okay, fmlgb, you've replied to every comment that suggests physical punishment by saying it's wrong, and now it's wrong to put her in time out too? You're either trolling or are just stupid. So what, he's just supposed to explain to her that it's wrong? Okay, and what if that doesn't work? He's just supposed to take this abuse? What if she starts doing this to boys at school, or worse, continues to hit people for fun when she grows up? OP will be doing his daughter a terrible disservice by not punishing her.

TheCrispyCat 20

Friday 17 January 2014 1:42

Keeps doing it? It has obviously happened many times, she needs to be disciplined NOW.

alvaro811994 3

Friday 17 January 2014 1:49

do the same thing!

littlekellilee 45

Friday 17 January 2014 18:00

120 Is anyone ever allowed to joke in your house without you telling them how wrong it is? I think posting on one or two was enough, you're just getting annoying. You might be the one who deserves the spanking here, and not in a fun way.