Kids: Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in...

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 121

You deserved it 13 073

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Unresolved issues

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 15:00

Today, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, since I work all the time and hardly ever get time off. She wanted to play Minecraft, so played it with her. Have you ever been killed over and over in a video game by an 8 year-old? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 712

You deserved it 5 759

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 099

You deserved it 4 719

By poohanne - 12/01/2013 06:36 - United States - Ville Platte

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 10 250

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 213

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 661

You deserved it 3 050

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 3 440

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 9 431

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 7 129

Not her fault neither mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 461

kurodansei 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 23:24

Discipline. Use it.

alexmac222 17

Thursday 16 January 2014 23:27

Must not hurt too bad considering you don't have balls to discipline and discuss your daughter's actions with her. She's 7! Come on, man! Grow a pair.

Comments

Mickey0186 11

Friday 17 January 2014 7:54

That's sad, I grew up with only girls, I know what pain you're having

Martnikk 15

Friday 17 January 2014 8:02

Some good ol' spanking is in order

frenchiegirl1 6

Friday 17 January 2014 8:20

Next time she does it just react by accidentally kicking her hard. Chances are she will learn to stop this by the second or third swift kick. Lol but seriously you can teach her a lesson and discipline her. Take something away for each time she's done it. Toys, special events, anything. Or spank her. She needs to learn the consequences.

frenchiegirl1 6

Friday 17 January 2014 8:22

Discipline her now or have a stranger beat the crap out of you when she does it to them

thererick 3

Friday 17 January 2014 8:48

cute !

akross72 4

Friday 17 January 2014 8:50

Time to start doing some parenting and give that little one some discipline.

UndeadRed93 7

Friday 17 January 2014 8:57

So ground the little brat. You know, discipline, like what parents do?

tsenx 7

Friday 17 January 2014 8:57

I'm anti spanking, but in this case I'd say she needs one. One teaches her hitting hurts, and won't promote hitting since she's obviously already doing that

Nastorrian 11

Friday 17 January 2014 9:33

ouch, sorry OP! With five daughters of my own... I pray they don't learn this game. Protect the "boys" was much as you can man...Or invest in a Jock Strap Aka: A Cup.. heehee