Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 327

You deserved it 10 515

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Same thing different taste

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 445

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 331

You deserved it 4 329

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 108

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 394

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 259

You deserved it 394

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 436

You deserved it 1 765

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 973

You deserved it 6 084

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 517

You deserved it 6 367

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 950

You deserved it 68 199

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 242

ccsmilvr 0

Monday 28 November 2011 9:00

Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??

mrbattleman 10

Monday 28 November 2011 9:01

maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf

Comments

MusicLover5 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 5:48

you know who won't get boerd of regular sex this guy ;)

cld_91 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 5:06

Ah whaaa? O.0

beddington 7

Thursday 8 December 2011 17:48

Did you still fake an armpit orgasim?

sammy190 3

Tuesday 20 December 2011 3:25

Haha try boobs?

Franklin24 3

Wednesday 21 December 2011 23:48

You'd better cover your ears and nose those are the only holes left

lemonsquid 6

Friday 23 December 2011 5:06

C'mon ****

sexaddict89167 0

Wednesday 28 December 2011 21:10

My boyfriend got bored so I sucked his hard **** and he was fine lol

Collinscap20 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 4:08

Well I never get tired of those things

soadkid 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 20:45

Well this means one thing your bad in bef

Aylla 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 1:15

Ear sex a la family guy

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The Top

Today, my family got mad at me and called me a "selfish" for not moving to the same state they’re in while I was visiting, so they could be closer to my kid. We were living in the same house as them until two years ago, in my current state, until they decided to move with only a month's notice for me to find a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 63

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 997

You deserved it 68 601

The Top

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 167

Today, my dad said to me, "This millenial idea that you can be happy in life is so wrong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 204

Today, I found out my husband’s former mistress is going to be at Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because his idiot brother married the tramp AFTER the affair came to light. So now not only is the whore my sister-in-law, she’s being included in every family gathering henceforth. Fuck this family and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 199

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 613

You deserved it 4 371

Today, my parents have been whining about me spending a weekend there, so I did. I have severe IBS and sent them the list of foods I can eat 2 weeks ago when I told them I was coming. They had no food in the house that I could eat without getting sick, and got offended when I didn’t eat or tried to buy my own food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 109

Today, my social awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 5 000