Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 327

You deserved it 10 515

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Same thing different taste

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 445

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 331

You deserved it 4 329

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 108

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 394

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 259

You deserved it 394

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 436

You deserved it 1 765

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 973

You deserved it 6 084

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 517

You deserved it 6 367

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 950

You deserved it 68 199

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 242

ccsmilvr 0

Monday 28 November 2011 9:00

Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??

mrbattleman 10

Monday 28 November 2011 9:01

maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf

Comments

millz94 1

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:49

buy a strap on see if he gets bored of that

CurlyQute 17

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:14

Ewwww why would you let him do that???

Sammbucholz 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 5:25

that sucks. I think that would b so awkward llolll like "o yea that feels so good " , hahah I just can't believe it

LovesickLeopard 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 5:48

You should tell him that your boyfriend is getting boring. Then go out and find a new one.

olroydk 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 7:08

:( I'm sorry

brilliantchild 1

Wednesday 30 November 2011 7:59

There's a point when I'm pretty sure you can (and should) say no . . .

danbman95 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:07

Maybe u just are a lousy lay

Humanspider 18

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:40

This is now my favorite FML.

justme0003 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:52

have u guys tried PORE sex?

lxmadmardiganxl 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 18:41

He will try behind your knee next I'm guessing

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 427

You deserved it 6 925

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 78 826

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 6 056

Today, a dog came up to me while I was sitting on my porch. I used my belt as a leash to go try to find its owner. After an hour of looking in the rain, I gave up and let it go. Now I'm back in my house and it won't stop pawing and barking at my door. It's 3:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 1 212

Today, my I told my girlfriend I was owed an explanation as to why I've been ghosted since her "Girls' trip" out of state. She said she just didn't want to deal with me being upset about her snapping a guy she spent the two days with, and they were all over each in a picture she tried to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 91

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 234

You deserved it 23 012

Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 925

You deserved it 81 545