Health: Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives... - FML

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 436

You deserved it 4 270

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Same thing different taste

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 934

You deserved it 225

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 490

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 563

You deserved it 5 935

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 354

You deserved it 4 405

Too much of a good thing

By tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 257

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 247

You deserved it 7 151

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 261

You deserved it 49 618

Survival mode

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 115

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 134

You deserved it 3 504

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 316

Next

Top comments

CheaRight 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 16:08

At least he knows girls poop.. Remember the girl that had to use the gas station to poop because her boyfriend thought girls didn't poop? Would you prefer that?

Southerndatageek 2

Thursday 17 February 2011 17:02

I would dump him like a load of poop for giving me meds of any type without my knowledge. There is something just a little twisted in giving your girlfriend laxatives without her knowledge. Makes one wonder what else he has given you.

Comments

meeko159 3

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:00

I'd kick his ass out the door

RosedFairy1 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:03

Mimi is right X]

foxysasha 5

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:15

thats actually kinda sweet!... in a strange-little bit gross- kinda way! xD <3

TheRealLori 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:21

This is a little scary. He thinks nothing of drugging you? Get rid of his criminal ass.

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:36

Double rainbows? D:

wolve86 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:41

he's just looking out for #2

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:54

#64, I get it.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Thursday 17 February 2011 22:55

#64, I get it!

Snowstar 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 23:34

ALL THE WAY ACROSS DA SKY!!

Writingislife16 1

Friday 18 February 2011 0:03

Don't forget the butterflies!

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The Top

Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 158

Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 269

The Top

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 265

You deserved it 7 094

Today, while reading some chemistry notes, I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say, "Ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 812

You deserved it 84 695

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 562

You deserved it 2 449

Today, I nearly lost a hand at work, because a supervisor decided to remove a 'useless' safety guard on a machine despite my warnings. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 714

You deserved it 426

Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 073

You deserved it 5 729

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 468

You deserved it 5 399