Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted...

By Ape - 17/12/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 036

You deserved it 8 673

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Same thing different taste

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 232

You deserved it 14 982

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 734

You deserved it 6 665

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 284

You deserved it 6 714

By Heyy - 24/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 118

You deserved it 12 074

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 420

You deserved it 4 472

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 797

You deserved it 5 232

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 920

You deserved it 4 098

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 4 266

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 144

You deserved it 9 448

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 7 163

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 18 December 2012 1:06

Grab his dick, shake it savagely and say, "aftershock"!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Tuesday 18 December 2012 1:05

Ow! Shaking it "savagely" would hurt! D:

Comments

asdfghjklana 9

Tuesday 18 December 2012 2:54

Compliment!

dpolk23 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 2:57

Grab his balls and sing the complete "Jingle Bells" song

DutchBasterd 15

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:07

he should have said: " whipped cream!".. only works if you're pregnant though..

danidino96 8

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:10

Daw. I think it's kind of cute. As long as it wasn't too rough! ;P

annekinz 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:28

My boyfriend obviously read this before me because he just did it to me too.

lvjordanln0612 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:34

My girlfriend does this on a daily bases!

rosaaaa_fml 6

Tuesday 18 December 2012 9:59

Are you a lesbian or a guy with boobs big enough to shake savagely?

samasara 20

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:44

Damn! I would have slapped him!

rebelliousshroom 12

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:45

A friend of mine likes to sneak up on her older sister who gave birth a few months ago, shake her breasts and yell "milkshake"! and then run away

Pwuj 6

Tuesday 18 December 2012 11:31

Dafuq?

skittycat213 19

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:54

San Andreas fault line FTW!!!

dennisisgood100 7

Tuesday 18 December 2012 4:16

How is this an fml

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Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 317

You deserved it 4 940

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died" right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 654

You deserved it 3 693

The Top

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 573

You deserved it 49 770

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 513

Today, I'm getting married. I woke up with no voice to say my I dos with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 578

You deserved it 252

Today, it's day three of me having unexplained diarrhea that leaves me with such bad gas that it keeps me up at night. Less than a month ago I was complaining to my doctor about having severe chronic constipation. My digestive tract can't seem to make up it's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 50

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 114

You deserved it 2 960

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 514

Same thing different taste

Cool move, dude

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