Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream...

By River - 18/07/2015 04:08 - Oranjestad

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 587

You deserved it 2 797

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Same thing different taste

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 668

You deserved it 5 408

By Erica - 08/07/2013 17:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 628

You deserved it 72 531

By duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 837

You deserved it 4 133

Fun

By :$. - 06/07/2012 21:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 851

You deserved it 7 638

What just happened?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 279

You deserved it 6 173

By anonymous - 16/10/2014 20:53 - United States - Canton

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 4 064

By cutiecuppiecakez - 29/02/2016 21:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 032

You deserved it 3 035

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 7 728

Sea legs

By have it your way - 29/04/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 5 072

By the girlfriend - 26/08/2011 10:41 - United Kingdom

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 080

You deserved it 4 167

IamHercules 24

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:40

Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.

MDoremis 38

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:40

You've picked a real winner.

Comments

GreekGleek6 22

Wednesday 30 December 2015 3:43

Sorry that happened OP, but I have to say, I love your name.

Jenni_da_wolf 5

Saturday 16 January 2016 6:35

River song, mate, you will be reunited with the doctor. It just might be a doctor checking up for any possible scratches though.

R_L_Jack 11

Thursday 4 May 2017 6:54

run run run as fast as you can from your so called boyfriend. He is such a bad one. Not worth your time.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 278

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 646

You deserved it 1 934

The Top

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 851

You deserved it 4 925

Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little, and one of my fat rolls came into contact with a button which closed the tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 255

You deserved it 3 781

Today, I have crippling self-hatred and suicidal thoughts for no reason. Nothing bad has happened to me in years, and I shouldn’t feel like this. I have no right to feel like this. I’m just a selfish, spoiled bitch with a good life who over exaggerates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 363

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 940

You deserved it 3 601

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 199

You deserved it 37 127

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 2 398

Same thing different taste

Fun

What just happened?

Sea legs

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