By STIdiot - 17/10/2011 12:12 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 732
You deserved it 3 683
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

mibrahim01 0

It's better to give than to take

75 6
guitarplayer546 0

I am sorry op, you may have a retard of a boyfriend

37 3

Comments

cloudiarose 5

Worst boyfriend ever!!! why didn't you dump him???

8 5
raphanne_fml 33

Ok he's definitely not the best boyfriend but I think that the guy who used the same condom all over again to save money could pretend to the "worst boyfriend ever" award... :D

11 3
decidedlyvague 11

could pretend to the?

2 2
perdix 29

He's right, he got the swollen jaw from you making him eat your pussy too much. If you can't come in 30 minutes or less, give it up. That's the Domino's Rule of ***********. Either his technique is lacking or you are anorgasmic. Suck it up and move on!

15 7
ikickgingers 15

Just 30 minutes? I don't like this rule. :/

17 5
Daralea 21

If he cracked his tooth the same way, he's doing something wrong.

19 2
ThreeSheetsGone 12

Or OP has a secret penis. Yes, I base life information on a tv show with a weed-smoking, talking dog. Blame the schools.

9 3
RedPillSucks 31

Damn, perdix. Which Domino's have you been ordering pizza from? Is there a Papa Johns rule for fellatio?

13 3
perdix 29

Re:#19 Note to self: Before date with Kicky, get dentist to give me cortisone shots in mandible. Bring a book to lay on her stomach.

14 3
perdix 29

RPS, fellatio follows the Subway Rule: Five Dollar Foot Long. For every bj, a guy with a 12-inch dick has to contribute $5 to her maxillofacial fund to cover the eventual damage. Smaller guys (most of us!) will pay a lesser pro-rated amount.

12 1
Princessx3Jamie 0

I like the OP's username lol =)

6 2
fmlsaves 0

Thx for pointing that out. It was more amusing than the fml

1 0
loserman67 35

And he believes in this because.... 1. You have had crabs before (and not the blue or soft shelled kind)? 2. You have vaginal warts the size of grapefruit? 3. The juice that constantly drips out of your coochie is swamp green in color? 4. It takes an entire tube of Zovirax cream to cover all your herpes sores? 5. He's just really ******* dumb? I'm betting on number 5, but hey......you never know!

11 7
lemon_phat 11

I hate reading longer comments, getting to the end... And realizing it sucked :(

0 14
melikeyturtles 3

He's even dumber if he thinks you gave him a STD and he's still with you. You should definitely leave him due to his stupidity on so many levels. In any case, I dont see this relationship lasting much longer. Sorry OP, but there are much smarter guys out there.

6 0
_Vamp_ 9

Yeah, the STD of stupidity passed down from his abusive father and alcoholic ***** of a mother.... wait wtf am I talking about lol

10 4
gymchic3 0

Okay then..... I would slap the living crap out of him(:

1 4
faith94m 5

you must have a low self-esteem if you haven't broken up with this fucktard yet.

3 3
darthrawn 0

Get a smarter and more hygienic boyfriend.

5 0