Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care...

By STIdiot - 17/10/2011 12:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 3 683

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ohmydog - 05/09/2010 08:14 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 3 649

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 219

You deserved it 3 330

By Darth Spasticus - 14/11/2015 09:12 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 1 769

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 657

You deserved it 21 052

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 94

Smug knob

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 368

By Anonymous - 05/03/2013 18:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 252

You deserved it 5 444

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 760

You deserved it 62 034

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 19:53 - United States

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 274

You deserved it 4 137

Clapped

By frennyy - 04/06/2024 10:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I gave him an STD I didn’t know I had. Before sleeping together, he asked me to get tested. Feeling lazy, I got some fake test results from Google Images. He called me a few weeks later, saying he has the clap. I told him he must've got it from someone else. He was a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 442

mibrahim01 0

Monday 17 October 2011 18:50

It's better to give than to take

guitarplayer546 0

Monday 17 October 2011 18:54

I am sorry op, you may have a retard of a boyfriend

Comments

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 17 October 2011 21:26

please quadruple up on birth control. the worlds quota on stupid was filled decades ago, your winner boyfriends DNA must not multiply.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 17 October 2011 21:30

He thinks he cracked a tooth giving you head? Tell him that if he changes his technique, the STD will go away. But it requires him getting you to the big O at least 5 times a day. I'm sure he's stupid enough to believe this. There are plenty of reasons to stay with a stupid person. Gullibility is reason number 523.