Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care...

By STIdiot - 17/10/2011 12:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 3 683

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ohmydog - 05/09/2010 08:14 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 3 649

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 219

You deserved it 3 330

By Darth Spasticus - 14/11/2015 09:12 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 1 769

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 657

You deserved it 21 052

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 94

Smug knob

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 368

By Anonymous - 05/03/2013 18:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 252

You deserved it 5 444

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 760

You deserved it 62 034

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 19:53 - United States

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 274

You deserved it 4 137

Clapped

By frennyy - 04/06/2024 10:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I gave him an STD I didn’t know I had. Before sleeping together, he asked me to get tested. Feeling lazy, I got some fake test results from Google Images. He called me a few weeks later, saying he has the clap. I told him he must've got it from someone else. He was a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 442

mibrahim01 0

Monday 17 October 2011 18:50

It's better to give than to take

guitarplayer546 0

Monday 17 October 2011 18:54

I am sorry op, you may have a retard of a boyfriend

Comments

kit001 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 0:55

You're still calling him your "boyfriend"? Makes me wonder who the smarter one is...

jayAZ 3

Tuesday 18 October 2011 1:02

He's cheating on you, and trying to cover it up by blaming you. OP, you're not that dumb...R U?

mrssuarez2011 12

Tuesday 18 October 2011 1:41

How old is this person?

underguarded 20

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:26

Pray you got smarter genes then him

hockeydominatorc 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:33

Better u then another girl!

773aztec 1

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:12

Ha that's funny!!

Okayitwasme 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:18

Weird..... I would have guessed aliens!

p71interceptor 6

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:49

What an idiot

DomoLaDii 8

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:00

he probbly cheated on u and got std... and jus wants to blame u and most likely dump u....

Havin 19

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:09

Do yourself a favour and leave him.

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 618

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 968

The Top

Today, maintenance was supposed to come in to replace my broken washer. I worked late last night until 4 AM, and then dozed off. I slept so soundly that they managed to enter the apartment, haul away the broken washer, and install the new one, all while I was fast asleep in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 219

Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 365

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 173

You deserved it 12 307

Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 246

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 931

You deserved it 8 383

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 6 557

Same thing different taste

Wrap it up

Smug knob

Clapped

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