Sex and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna...

By Anonymous - 29/08/2012 16:38 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 6 963

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 12/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 729

You deserved it 29 701

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 310

You deserved it 1 526

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 4 213

By LonelyShowers - 04/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Mission Hills

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 176

You deserved it 4 075

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 351

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 366

You deserved it 1 524

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 794

You deserved it 27 698

By sly - 25/10/2010 22:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 113

You deserved it 4 460

By that girl - 08/04/2014 23:06 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 263

You deserved it 12 664

DragonzCreator 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:51

It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.

Psych101 9

Wednesday 29 August 2012 22:51

Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.

Comments

supportcommand 17

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:41

Everybody should know about water displacement. What if your on a small boat and a fattie is going to get on too? You'll be the wise one that says "wait, if you get on we'll displace too much water and sink". Everyone will praise you.

supportcommand 17

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:36

Oops. * you're.

cameronman9 2

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:58

Saw that one coming

Axipiter 24

Thursday 30 August 2012 4:08

Or didn't see anything coming?

SweetAsHell 9

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:20

*sigh* Not every guy who likes science is like Sheldon from BBT. Broaden your horizon of characters, my kittens.

justanotherhuman 21

Thursday 30 August 2012 17:48

^ true. The rest of us are the CSI/NCIS crew; hotties using science to right wrongs.

winnerme123 8

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:25

Can I come?

astronomydomine 2

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:33

You should have taken off your shirt, dunked your boobs in the bath and asked, "how much water do my boobs displace?" He would have asked you to marry him right then and there!