Miscellaneous: Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself.... - FML

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 075

You deserved it 4 310

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 272

You deserved it 3 965

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 427

You deserved it 6 110

By xxteenhearts - 29/05/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 4 173

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 333

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 008

You deserved it 3 371

Trickster

By Oxnar60 - 08/08/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 192

You deserved it 1 995

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 214

You deserved it 8 283

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 3 101

By unluckysamaritan - 15/10/2016 08:51 - Sweden

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 496

You deserved it 984

By calli - 25/12/2009 21:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 464

You deserved it 4 611

Next

Top comments

naem 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:14

Did you cut anyone open today? It's probably in there

Sevenfold 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:29

wtf? How do you think someone stole it? You LOST it, idiot.

Comments

WeStayCrunk24x7 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:48

therefore your phone wasnt stolen if it wasnt physically taken from you. This is not an fml just someone trying to be funny

adelaide_evening 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:48

This is probably the worst FML I've ever read. There is no possible way this is even funny or an FML. You say you work in a morgue and by yourself? Then OBVIOUSLY it wasn't stolen there. So either you lost it or someone stole it when you weren't at work, in which case the rest of the information is just stupid. The Jackass crew fails at picking FML's.

flyingtoasters 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:56

OP never said she lost it, idiots. I personally think this is an FHL because a morgue is the last place I would expect anyone to take anything from, unless it was dumbass kids... OP, did you check the pockets of your lab things? The biohazard bags? Im really hoping you didnt have it on you while working. That sucks that it got taken!

paprikacha 9

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:03

Did anybody stop to think that someone might've snuck in? Or is everyone too busy bashing the op just because we can?

mavsfan26 5

Thursday 30 July 2009 20:40

we haven't ruled out the possibility. It's just that the way she said her phone was lost or stolen was pointless and terribly constructed.

gigi2009 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:05

haha great fml! :) sorry bout the phone tho

kscott88 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:15

Because THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING FOR US. And our cell phones!! =o

Jotham 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:20

I'm not laughing.

blubblubbnb 6

Wednesday 29 October 2014 20:30

who said this was a joke?

plexico 3

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:35

Looks likes you're going to have to poke each and every corpse to see if one of them is not quite dead.

jbo300 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:36

#29 this isn't the worst flm. I saw a few days ago a fml that read "Today, I am a philledelphia egals fan" that's the worst

winterxleah 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 17:40

People can wake up in the morgue. It's happend plenty of times before.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Customers Fat Bodyshaming Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 200

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

The Top

Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 4 490

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 327

You deserved it 2 699

Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 682

You deserved it 12 844

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 2 070

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 389

You deserved it 2 929

Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 710

You deserved it 2 030