Miscellaneous: Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big...

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 136 275

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 5 094

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 951

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 728

You deserved it 39 014

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 291

You deserved it 2 718

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 954

You deserved it 3 378

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 711

You deserved it 8 765

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 610

You deserved it 8 245

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 010

You deserved it 3 908

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 591

You deserved it 6 175

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 040

You deserved it 33 821

slayerdme 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:25

Why would you even smoke in the first place? Think you're cool huh?

trilingualotaku 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:28

ydi for 2 reasons. 1=bad hiding spot. 2=for lying. ... have a nice day :D

Comments

EveryDayJackAss 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 7:26

WOW man .....under your bed? thats fkin retarded i mean if i were you i would've AT LEAST stashed it in my underwear..........what's wrong with that eh?

xSceneSceneBabyx 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 7:51

...stupid ass.

Nikkir95 4

Wednesday 29 July 2009 8:43

those are bad for you! *tisk tisk* yea and find a better hiding place like under a berrow ( or how ever u spell that?)

lowykens 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 9:17

lol either pick better hiding spots orrr. dont lie ? i dont kno i am just saying (: hiding spots: dresser, shoes in yur closet, uhhh closet? theres many possibalities

x_Life_Hater_x 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 11:02

YDI for smoking.

TheGasMaskGuy 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 12:11

You're a winner

liveBabylon 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 12:28

You suck

MeandSunnyD 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 14:47

amen to that

Sturmeh 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 15:19

YDI for Smoking and lying.

chataboy 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 18:57

Everything we do is harmful fast food clogs your arteries and gives you heart problems. Americas obese. smokers smoke, fat people eat, drinkers drink. It's all a life choice everyone does it if you ever ate fast food you've also made a conscious choice about harming your body. It's whatever about the smoking, but YDI for the matress...