Miscellaneous: Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big...

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 981

You deserved it 136 249

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 5 057

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 197

You deserved it 3 935

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 726

You deserved it 38 991

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 283

You deserved it 2 715

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 943

You deserved it 3 373

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 699

You deserved it 8 757

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 8 212

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 997

You deserved it 3 901

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 6 171

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 039

You deserved it 33 783

slayerdme 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:25

Why would you even smoke in the first place? Think you're cool huh?

trilingualotaku 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:28

ydi for 2 reasons. 1=bad hiding spot. 2=for lying. ... have a nice day :D

Comments

idiotgirl 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 17:58

YDI for lying. I won't blame you for smoking, I don't like i myself but it's your choice and everyone does things that are bad for them these days anyway. Smoking's hard to hide, and chances are you dad found out already and was just seeing how much he could trust you. You'd have gotten in less trouble if you told the truth, now your dad will be more angry at you for lying.

bob1233 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:01

You ******* deserve it for lying.

diabetic_rage 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:21

YDI for being a lying idiot and for smoking.

Quiet_one 22

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:26

YDI for starting to smoke in a time when everyone knows how addictive and harmful they are. Also for giving a huge hypocritical speech and picking a crappy hiding spot. I don't see how this qualifies as an FML, considering that every part of it was completely and intentionally caused by you.

Yatta_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:28

YDI for not only not telling the truth, but for trying to sound so high and mighty in your standpoint on smoking... YDI also for not hacingsome kind if backup plan like "those are my friends, I'm hiding them for them" ready to go.

lalaland94 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:35

karma is a bitch, and man did she act fast. have fun smoking those cancer sticks bud.

Yatta_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:40

BTW, I don't understand how smokes are addictive, I smoke when I get drunk and that's the only time... No urge to do it any other time and let me say, if I DID ever get such a desire I'd ignore it. Get cancer? Spend a tin of miner doing it? Annoy everyone around me? No thanks.