Miscellaneous: Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 209

You deserved it 2 422

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 610

You deserved it 2 894

By Dragoness11 - 03/05/2019 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 719

You deserved it 13 276

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 714

You deserved it 2 424

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 3 578

By phonemenace - 17/08/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 800

You deserved it 2 828

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 314

You deserved it 2 712

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 443

You deserved it 1 120

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 955

You deserved it 1 754

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 771

You deserved it 7 950

H3RPxD3RP 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:57

Better than 50,000 knives in your car

grahambertus 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:07

I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 20:17

Help your Dad out w/ a spork collecting campaign...Plaster your city w/ signs saying, "Sporks for Dorks!!"

vidamasbella 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 20:51

the beginning stages of hoarding

TheNewGuy03 28

Wednesday 11 January 2012 0:14

Now that's a healthy addiction. Next thing you know, you'll press the button to roll the window down, and sporks will spill out of the car like a pyroclastic flow from Mt. St. Helens. |the kid|

Reallukev 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 0:50

Love it

ilovenaes 1

Wednesday 11 January 2012 4:34

Lucky youu...ha

panderluver 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 4:50

I wish to meet this interesting parent.

ibebrandy 4

Wednesday 11 January 2012 5:12

Sporks are the best you can eat soup with the spoon part and then if you want you can eat the chicken out of it with the fork part... That's if you have Chicken Noodle Soup...