Miscellaneous: Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 208

You deserved it 2 419

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 2 893

By Dragoness11 - 03/05/2019 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 514

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 13 271

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 711

You deserved it 2 423

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 3 576

By phonemenace - 17/08/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 795

You deserved it 2 827

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 439

You deserved it 1 118

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 950

You deserved it 1 753

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 766

You deserved it 7 945

H3RPxD3RP 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:57

Better than 50,000 knives in your car

grahambertus 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:07

I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.

Comments

Okayitwasme 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 2:23

Ever wonder why they haven't made metal ones yet! You know like a dinner wear set with sporks.

Superllama12 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 3:42

Go to Taco Bell, they have them for free

vlynnsutton 2

Monday 16 January 2012 8:07

Sporks are awesome! I wish my dad did this haha :)

savvy_recluse 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:57

Ah sporks, with their three points. They should call them tridents, then you can rule the sea with them.

amanook 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:08

dig a hole to china??

TALZZZ14 11

Monday 9 April 2012 1:05

But that's Sporktactular! Heh heh... Oh who am I kidding?! *crawls back Into hole*

chaz993 3

Friday 18 May 2012 23:06

I laugh at others misery

KtKD54 2

Friday 6 July 2012 5:02

I used to randomly yell "What the spork?!?!" True story

duckyeah 6

Sunday 16 September 2012 2:28

Gotta catch them all!

PhishloverA 14

Sunday 25 November 2012 8:38

Hey at least it isn't beer cans or bottles

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 2 046

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 568

You deserved it 6 603

The Top

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 3 037

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 625

You deserved it 5 522

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 412

You deserved it 3 217

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 595

You deserved it 31 884

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 123

You deserved it 15 024

Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 2 031

Same thing different taste

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