Intimacy: Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 153

You deserved it 4 054

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By virginwhore - 18/01/2015 06:29

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 3 504

Are you experienced?

By ugh - 11/03/2013 11:33 - United States - Easthampton

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 592

You deserved it 27 047

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 031

You deserved it 1 829

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 5 468

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 801

You deserved it 121 801

Grow up

By Anonymous - 23/03/2021 00:30

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 115

Denial

By innocent - 06/01/2015 03:11 - United States

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 346

You deserved it 3 361

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 06:39 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 174

You deserved it 1 878

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 62 346

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 585

You deserved it 47 214

marcranger 28

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:50

Your dad is aware of what century it is, right?

LizetteBerenice 22

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:50

Ugh, double standards :/

Comments

Wiz_Of_Oz 17

Sunday 22 February 2015 2:59

It's funny that the only woman he is worried about is you. All of those women that your dad supposedly wants your brother to have sex with don't matter at all. There is more than one double standard here.

Taylor22294 24

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:02

Maybe he was hinting something to and hope you get gist of what he's saying. Don't be silly wrap that willy

Queen_of_Night 20

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:08

Yeah, its total bullshit. My dad banned me from "Rocko's Modern Life" for implied adult humor. My kid brother had seen every episode of South Park before he was 8. I was like "WTF Dad?" His answer was when you get older and wiser and blah blah blah... I rolled my eyes and said "I'm sure my lack of dick had nothing to do with that either."

zombombaby 18

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:14

Been there, done that. My dad literally disowned me for a year after I slept over at my now fiancé's house at 21 years old. He was flying my older brother out at 18 to go see his girlfriend. My brother is a single loser now and I helped fund my dad's current business. He still sides with my brother over anything.

Peachtranquility 15

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:23

A father son bond that I will never understand!

mrmcleod 29

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:50

Your dad sounds like a very religious man. I wonder if guess with this sorry if mentality consideredtheir wives ****** whether they were only courting.

mrmcleod 29

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:24

Wow. Proofreading fail. What I meant was, "I wonder if he considered your mom a ***** while they were dating".

Mossygirl357 12

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:56

Your not a ***** and your dad should have never said that to you.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Sunday 22 February 2015 4:06

Double standard, daughters should be free to have sex While putting the worth of a son on his sexual successes is also damaging to guys, their egos, and fuels the cycle of objectifying women.

johnnynumnuts 17

Sunday 22 February 2015 4:19

A dad giving his son condoms is something all dads tend to do, but Im not sure I agree with him calling you a *****. Hopefully he was joking op

kpetrovski 24

Sunday 22 February 2015 4:42

But he didn't just give him condoms, that's normal. He gave him the condoms only AFTER he made a point of calling his daughter a ***** for kissing her boyfriend. That's the issue.