Intimacy: Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before...

By lawl - 07/05/2011 13:25 - Canada

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 436

You deserved it 12 120

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
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Same thing different taste

By whatever - 09/08/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 901

You deserved it 27 401

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 204

You deserved it 6 593

By sad_gay - 16/04/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 265

You deserved it 17 043

By Anonymous - 19/07/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 272

You deserved it 4 986

By sandyhome - 11/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 778

You deserved it 6 276

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 03/03/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 051

Dating hell

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 14:00

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 684

By ditched?? - 06/08/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 369

You deserved it 5 718

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 130

Fake news

By pig! - 20/10/2023 14:00

Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 196

jennifer93 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 19:50

you shouldve just dropped her off on her corner

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Saturday 7 May 2011 19:53

and tomorrow night a random girl will be driving you home too! yay!

Comments

akichan15 5

Saturday 7 May 2011 21:36

hah. this doesnt surprise me these day.

Crazy4Christ 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 21:40

awkward, did u still go out!?

heyred 11

Saturday 7 May 2011 21:50

I hope you turned on your heel and left that freak show!!

Turianmoose 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 21:51

Good job judging other people for all you know it was his sister

CharleneW 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 21:57

Umm.... the FML said that he wasn't even sure what her name was. Yep, totally could have been his sister.

resplendencerino_fml 3

Sunday 8 May 2011 4:00

why would his sister be staying overnight in a skimpy dress? don't be a moron

perdix 29

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:16

He probably drove her home a few times the night before. He just needed your help to do it literally.

khaya 9

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:17

If he knew her name he could have asked for a threesome.

laliique_31 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:20

wow!! nice : D

TurboTits 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:24

I guess... you couldn't stand it.

Alekyork 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:27

Ydi for actually doing it

shaysters1432 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:43

dang thats bogus...shudv kicked both of them out!

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Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 390

You deserved it 1 713

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 232

You deserved it 20 261

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I agree, your life sucks 3 841

You deserved it 7 081

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I agree, your life sucks 3 900

You deserved it 265

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I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 5 749

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I agree, your life sucks 47 530

You deserved it 5 211

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I agree, your life sucks 32 897

You deserved it 7 525

Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 001

Same thing different taste

And I oop

Dating hell

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