By Anonymous - 04/11/2012 18:14 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 789
You deserved it 2 375
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Top comments

Callyn 47

Get her to a mental health professional. If she's that delusional, she needs medical care.

170 1
JustKittyKat 24

At least she isn't one of those people praying everyday to become one.

119 1

Comments

sissycullen 4

The part where you refer to her as "my deranged wife" is basically where the FML started for me.

48 0
sirpantselot 22

As, it would appear, it did for everyone.

4 0
perdix 29

The stupidity of people is astounding. Doesn't she know that only whole bulbs of garlic are effective vampire repellents? Sheesh!

43 5
TheNewGuy03 28

A waste of perfectly good garlic. Jeez...

0 0
MikeMikeTheAzn 3

What? I normal cross neckless can't do?

1 5
MikeMikeTheAzn 3

Yes. Yes it is.

10 0
spiritfang11237 16

it works especially when blessed with holy water.

0 0
xNephilim 18

Yes. Always have a cross, a bottle of holy water, and a rosary (in case you have to bless more water to make it holy) with you!

1 0
sassy2085 16

If it was a bad dream let her know that vampires in her dreams denote that someone is draining her of energy or has watched to many scary vampire movies which includes twilight lol.

1 7
Sai_Run614 7

What drugs are she on. I wonder what the trip is like.

1 11
ambowew 7

At least she believes in the right sort of vampire, rather than those filthy half breeds that sparkle.

10 5
Angelrose2004 17

This is actually really sad. I've had my paranoid moments, but this is crossing the line. I'm with number 2. She needs professional help badly. This poor woman can't live her life this this!

4 0
ICastillo 24

She is crazy there is no such thing as vampires, but I have seen a werewolf running around I swear I have.... *loads gun with silver bullets*

15 2
cjgirl 15

You do realize there is a "vampire disease", right? I don't recall the name but basically the people crave blood (which they usually drink from a significant other), are extremely sensitive to sunlight, move faster than an average person, and have an over active immune system... They are the "real life vampires". But they don't kill people and drink them dry. But saying vampires don't exist, technically, is not correct.

0 6
raraisbang 12

82 is actually SOMEWHAT correct, though the people with the actual disease do not crave blood. The disease is called Cutaneous Porphyria and is characterized by sensitivity to sunlight, causing blisters on the skin, receding of the gum lines to create a "fang-like" appearance of the teeth, and anemia. No, this disease does not cause people to have quicker reflexes as 82 said, nor does it cause the few with this rare disease to drink or crave blood, but there is in fact a disease nicknamed the "vampire disease."

1 0
Futacy 29

Time for some role play! You be Edward Cullen and she can be Trisha, the crime fighting ninja stripper with boundary issues. On a serious note, you should really get her to a therapist or a hypnotist for some help.

2 1