Miscellaneous: Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad... - FML

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 7 950

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Same thing different taste

Wasted

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 952

You deserved it 4 765

By Shamu - 27/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 010

You deserved it 7 086

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 773

You deserved it 10 794

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 264

You deserved it 9 318

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 806

You deserved it 7 555

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 470

You deserved it 7 855

By Someone - 16/04/2014 00:20 - Canada - Windsor

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 049

You deserved it 5 823

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 23:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 041

You deserved it 6 791

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 157

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 221

Next

Top comments

KatrinaKitten 16

Friday 20 May 2011 1:20

You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

Friday 20 May 2011 1:19

I like cupcakes.

Comments

kade23 0

Friday 20 May 2011 16:47

shouldnt be so fat

ThanksKarma 0

Friday 20 May 2011 17:24

Tell him they're called killer whales for a reason and you'd be happy to show him that reason,

brat1211 8

Friday 20 May 2011 17:33

what a dick I would slap him in the face

Iloveyou12619 3

Friday 20 May 2011 17:50

ahahahahahahaahaha thats the best! But seriously.... hes a dick....

Bee26 0

Friday 20 May 2011 18:12

you should be ashamed of yourself for going to seaworld. you need to watch the documentary The Cove

invicta8926 0

Friday 20 May 2011 19:01

One mean dad!

MyF_ckingLuck 0

Friday 20 May 2011 20:51

so sad. visine in his coffee now.

SkyHiLyfe_808 0

Friday 20 May 2011 21:32

Hrm. Nothing to get seriously upset about. My family makes jokes like this all the time. Sounds like OP needs to loosen up and stop taking everything so seriously. =/

cah34 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 0:38

******* win for your dad!

Kla017 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 4:05

Jerk

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 142

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 961

You deserved it 4 729

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 716

You deserved it 2 759

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because he was "furloughed from COVID" like he said was. Oh, and he got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 137

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 553

Today, I woke up again from another nightmare about my university's hazing fallout. Every time I see their faces in these dreams, I remember how they got away with everything, including trying to end us as they searched for the first year snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 218

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 565

You deserved it 4 054