Miscellaneous: Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad...

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 194

You deserved it 7 952

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Wasted

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 952

You deserved it 4 765

By Shamu - 27/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 011

You deserved it 7 088

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 265

You deserved it 9 318

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 470

You deserved it 7 855

By Someone - 16/04/2014 00:20 - Canada - Windsor

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 051

You deserved it 5 824

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 23:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 042

You deserved it 6 792

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 223

KatrinaKitten 16

Friday 20 May 2011 1:20

You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

Friday 20 May 2011 1:19

I like cupcakes.

Comments

rabsml 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:37

hahhahahahahaha. too funny

LolYouGotOwned 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:44

then lose some ******* weight shamu!

denvan 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 12:17

hahaha funniest fml I've read. Dad's are being legends on fml lately

doodlemunster 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 18:00

damn lol thats fukd up.

mecob 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 22:56

what a dick

jaybirdrampage 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 6:29

hahaha

SpRiTzSpLaSh 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:49

Lmao

miss_la_rue 6

Sunday 22 May 2011 21:33

Oh my god... if that was me, I'm pretty sure I would burst into tears on the spot. And then cried for a week. Even if you do need to lose some weight, OP, I'm sorry your dad would say something so awful to you, some people are just thoughtless assholes. It is worse, though, when you're related to them...