Intimacy: Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 091

You deserved it 7 768

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Same thing different taste

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 111

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 128

You deserved it 1 474

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

By Anonymous - 13/08/2012 18:48 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 062

You deserved it 5 217

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 478

You deserved it 6 678

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 818

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 6 026

It's the thought that counts

By come on man - 29/11/2014 17:03 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 7 445

chevygirl23 17

Thursday 9 January 2014 23:37

********** in front of him & tell him he's not allowed to help

sunnyray812 42

Thursday 9 January 2014 23:34

What's the point of him telling you then?

Comments

SlightOfHand 5

Friday 10 January 2014 0:10

And he called you why? This would threaten his fiance status for me.

Jabberwockyy 13

Friday 10 January 2014 8:35

That seems a little harsh.

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 10 January 2014 0:12

When you get home and he "needs" you, tell him naww you got it

TheBrochure 22

Friday 10 January 2014 1:54

Your attempt to give terrible advice backfired into giving commendable advice regarding forgiveness! I like!

EmmaMK 35

Friday 10 January 2014 0:13

You need to train him better.

jtfrisch 22

Friday 10 January 2014 0:19

Hahaha hes a bro

speakersboom 19

Friday 10 January 2014 1:41

you spelled "asshole" wrong.

Sports_guy3 28

Friday 10 January 2014 5:13

It's A-S-S-H-O-L-E, not "haha he's bro"

j_cat187 19

Friday 10 January 2014 5:18

I thought asshole and bro was the same thing.

fartay55 11

Friday 10 January 2014 0:22

That's unfortunate :(

megwithcat 15

Friday 10 January 2014 0:23

why did he call u then?

glabberfasted 16

Friday 10 January 2014 0:40

He didn't.

Blink_me26 21

Friday 10 January 2014 0:32

I guess the bright side is that he gets off to photos of you instead of ****?

JMichael 25

Friday 10 January 2014 0:36

You could always ********** to pics of him then text him that you are.

california_143 7

Friday 10 January 2014 0:36

I say you get him back (:

worldclassrager 39

Friday 10 January 2014 0:38

Maybe things will change when you get there...

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