Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber...

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Wales

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 186

You deserved it 24 246

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Same thing different taste

I can't help it

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 17:47 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 11 935

Totally? Really?

By honk honk, fuckwad - 06/11/2015 22:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 965

You deserved it 6 005

Cut it out

By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 612

You deserved it 4 348

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 386

You deserved it 3 436

By Anonymous - 03/08/2013 20:01 - Portugal

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 131

You deserved it 9 201

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 285

You deserved it 7 891

By jigglypluff - 19/11/2014 05:27 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 283

You deserved it 4 944

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 743

You deserved it 10 559

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 880

You deserved it 5 514

By mee - 30/11/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 107

You deserved it 8 833

Welshite 39

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:17

Did you scream "baby, baby, baby, ooh..."?

cmayer 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:17

I am so very sorry for your misfortune.

Comments

isamisis 9

Thursday 18 July 2013 22:28

You are officially whipped! Congratulations.

rogwest 23

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:17

Time for a new girlfriend... Just saying

anthony99 14

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:29

Still a better love story than Twilight...but just barely

jmac1811 9

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:35

Stimmt

Derpenstien 4

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:50

I'm calling the cops because you're obviously dating a 10-year-old.

s3yx_trackstar 1

Friday 19 July 2013 0:00

How can a straight guy be guilted into acting like justin bieber, u deserved it

BeautyInBlack 2

Friday 19 July 2013 0:07

He did write something very rude in a guest book at a hotel. He also mentioned something quite rude about Anne Frank..

VioletAlive 12

Friday 19 July 2013 0:36

guilt? k now what the hell went down..

UglyFatGirl 9

Friday 19 July 2013 1:34

really sucks man I'm sorry to hear that

obsquire 5

Friday 19 July 2013 1:37

I want to know what on earth she was thinking.

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Awkward Love Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Boredom Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 818

You deserved it 9 771

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 030

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, I asked my niece to house-sit because she acts very mature and sensible while her brother is an idle slob. Turns out the idle slob nephew is the mature one while the sensible niece actually likes to throw house parties. I found a used condom stuck to my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 314

You deserved it 969

Today, I found out my roommate gambled his portion of the rent money on Israel Adesanya. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 86

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 084

You deserved it 13 982

Today, I showed up to work with a hickey on my neck and found out my boss is very Christian. He wasted my entire lunch break ranting to me about how the Bible says I shouldn't be having sex before marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 354

Today, while leaving a job site, I put a bundle of pipe on my boss's van, picked up a few tools, and left for the day. He called screaming 30 minutes later to inform me that I didn't strap the pipe to the rack. It slid off the van and hit the car in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 4 873

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 704

You deserved it 3 472