That's really not every girl's dream. I know quite a few women who have no interest in getting married. I do agree that he should definitely bring up that they clearly want different things out of the relationship, otherwise it just isn't healthy to have her having expectations for something that will never happen.

I'm too old to be a girl, but even when I was, I sort of agreed with OP's views. If nothing else, I think marriage is a trap. I understand that most don't agree with me, but it's not something I would ever do because I disagree with the institution so strongly.

I agree some won't listen, but you also have to admit even if he's tried to explain it he kinda seems like a douche. There's not wanting to marry and then there's insulting marriage like op did. That's going to be insulting to a lot of people.

Or the other way around.. Women whose life goal is not to get married or have children are not believed at all most of the time. People hurl lots of bad stuff at you if you mention it in the slightest. You might even be called mentally ill for it. For men there is this stupid clichee that their life is over after marrying and they kind of have to be forced into marriage. It sucks all around and even because of this I personally don't like marriage. Like let people do with their life what they want to ffs.

Spoken like someone who's likely going to remain single forever. You don't understand marriage because you're not married.

50% of marriages end in divorce. Clearly, a lot of people may remain single forever.

A lot of people will get married for the piece of paper because of the legal rights. Like if someone is in the hospital, they can't be shut out by blood family. I know people while they don't believe in marriage married for the rights.

You don't have to have an overpriced ceremony to get married. My brother got married outside and only invited like 40 people and it wasn't very expensive. The guests make it the most expensive but that's because there are people who care about you in your life who want to be there for you when you get married and also the paper is important because of things like taxes and emergencies. Why else do you think people pushed so hard for gay marriage being legalized? There are many reasons but you can't deny that marriage is important to a lot of people for good reason.

That's not true. The highest divorce rate peaked in the 70's. Nearly 70% of marriages that began in the 90's have reached their 15 year anniversary. If current trends continue, 2/3 of marriages will be successful.

Because a witnessed oath to someone, whether officiated by a priest or a judge or whatever or not, has weight. It carries a great deal of weight, for the person swearing the oath, to the person to whom the oath is sworn, to their families, and to their community. Whether that weight is a good thing or a bad thing is a matter of circumstance and personal opinion; but oaths have weight, witnessed oaths moreso.

We got married for about a grand. It would have been closer to $700 but my Dad insisted on a chunk of alcohol beyond the homemade beer we were providing. We had a Medieval-themed wedding in a community hall (rental for the day: $250) with a marriage commissioner ($75). We cooked the food ourselves (well, had a friend do it; few more hundred dollars); I made our outfits (silk from Little India for $10 a yard); and we got our decorations at the dollar store. It was fun, it was cheap, and it was memorable. Doesn't have to be $20,000; good lord, spend it on a down payment on a house or an RRSP or something instead! It used to just be a priest and a party and your new Sunday best. It really doesn't have to be more than that.

Clearly you and number 53 didn't read the earlier comments about marriage not needing to be expensive. Or theirs being that the divorce rate is 50%.

#skyrim

I agree with you on the "sick and amoral" bit, but for opposition part it could be that their parents had a bad marriage or they themselves had a bad marriage and that cemented their feelings. Personally I dislike marriage because it has, in my mind, been bastardized into a scam to get money from people who do think marry.

Some people see it as a religious thing, and are happy to make a commitment but don't want a religious one. Some people are offended by the idea of having to make a commitment and declaration, like they'll just run away without it or something.

It's not just a paper and a ring. There are lots of other reasons for disliking the concept of marriage. Married people have lots of privileges especially the tax privileges but also lots of other rights and things are way easier for them e.g. when you have kids or if you want to adopt one. Then not everybody is allowed to marry. Marriage was used for oppressing women until recently or still depending on the country we are talking about. Here you didn't get a damn appartment as a single woman and when my parents were married my father could quit my mothers job without her knowledge or consent. Women were refused proper education because they would marry anyways. Rape within marriage wasn't illegal until the late 90s. It is still expected for women to give up their surname. The tax laws mostly lead to women giving up their jobs or only working part time. Different countries: Child brides, arranged marriages, fulfil their duties as wives, not being able to get a divorce. And then there are those clichees you can see in action here: A girls biggest dream is to get married and the man's life is over after marrying. And the religious take on marriage. For the imprisonment: If you are in a relationship you can say goodbye at any times and you don't have to do anything else or just move out. Divorce is quite complicated with regard to money, living seperately but still married, paperwork, children, etc. So why on earth should everyone either support it or think of it as "just a paper and a ring"?

That doesn't really have anything to do with marriage itself 75, more with sexism.

But the roots of the institution are so tied up in sexism that it's pretty hard for some, myself included, to separate the two. Even today, there's so much pressure on a married woman to make sacrifices her husband wouldn't--give up her name, cut back on her career so her husband's can take off, god forbid they have kids and she wants to continue working. That's why I somewhat agree with OP: until marriage truly is just a piece of paper with no other baggage, it can still be used as a way to judge even the women who are "doing it right" by society's standards.

#75: In Canada at least (I don't know about other countries) there is a thing called a common law marriage, which you automatically enter into if you live together for two or more years. At that point, yeah, you can just walk away without having to go through a divorce; but your partner can sue for all the usual divorce stuff: a share of possessions (the house, the car, the boat), child support, part, joint, or full custody of children, spousal support--it gives common law relationships all of the disadvantages of a legal marriage with none of the benefits (namely things like taxes, and the ability to visit spouses in hospitals beyond general visiting hours, and the ability to overrule the spouse's family if needed to comply with the spouse's wishes re: treatment, burial provisions, etc). So avoiding a legal marriage isn't a "Get out of jail free" card anymore, at least in Canada.

Traditionally, marriage protected a woman from being fair game for any man who could overpower her.

Some states in the U.S. allow you to be in the Common Law Marriage bond. However, it's not all of them. I think.... I only did a little bit of research. So anyone can correct me if I'm wrong. Politely though.