Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent,...

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By drew_ar85 - 20/03/2010 16:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 104

You deserved it 6 699

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 61 890

Harsh

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 16:59

Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 813

The Voice

By NotChadKrouger - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 15 166

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 647

You deserved it 8 644

By Dying Whale - 02/03/2017 04:00

Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 698

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 260

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 161

You deserved it 42 382

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 227

By Sdutent - 01/03/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 265

You deserved it 7 375

Take it while you can

By thanks..? - 03/11/2018 17:30

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 236

hpl_fml 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:01

wow just wow

karro 1

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:08

lol maybe she means talking? lol

Comments

autumngirl23 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:21

woww

niniss67 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:33

lmao!

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:44

LOL use that shit to your advantage

daBeast155 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:09

there you go, a girl is even telling you thts a good thing

babykara 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:48

...The Natural State... <3

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:59

she is pretty good with her mouth.

kally2010 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:01

sounds lik a ***** !

bastian730 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:08

yay #14 maybe she will snowball him

CallMeHush 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:18

Yea, she is really good, never spills a drop either.

Your_Dad 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:19

oh I agree.

lucidlucia 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:30

just ask everyone...she's got a long and disease ridden future in $10 blow jobs.

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The Top

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 159

You deserved it 10 365

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 300

You deserved it 9 169

The Top

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 270

You deserved it 3 810

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 503

You deserved it 2 529

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 209

You deserved it 2 490

Today, my grandmother and I got mugged. As I stood there paralyzed with fear, she grabbed the mugger from behind as he escaped, and gave him a suplex, knocking him out. Then, as if nothing happened, she dusted herself, picked up our things, held my hand, and said, "Come on baby, let's get you a clean pair of shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 489

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 190

You deserved it 1 697

Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of blankets on the balcony of our cabin during the cruise. He decided it would be great to ditch me and go out gambling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 6 262