Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger...

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 616

You deserved it 91 026

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Same thing different taste

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 95

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 9 422

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 130

You deserved it 13 422

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 1 909

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 1 457

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 430

You deserved it 26 499

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 428

You deserved it 4 626

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 446

You deserved it 8 034

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 469

You deserved it 9 863

diesel42o 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:03

she owned u on that one

sam_stalker 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:04

op she didn't think it was sexy, she did it for revenge >=~}

Comments

briidontgive_ 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 21:06

Haha I wanted to do that to my boyfrien for the same exact reasonn but I cudnt bring myselff to touchh theree at all

BeastNerd 3

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:54

Hey, I'm wondering why you put two of the last letters on some of your words. :D

thew_fml 14

Thursday 3 March 2011 15:10

too bad for your boyfriend that you have such tight sexual limitations

Petunia888 13

Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:12

Exactly!!!

Gadomski87 2

Wednesday 2 March 2011 21:12

Dude...

1twilight 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 21:43

it dosnt feel good does it ?? :D

WHOAitsHayley 2

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:16

HAHAHAHA awesome.

sammyxduh 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:35

HAHA, that's awesome. At least her finger isn't as big as your dick...or is it. xD

alexavb15 4

Thursday 3 March 2011 2:52

Ha Win,!

PreludeToADream 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:06

High five to her. xD

alex1432 9

Sunday 27 March 2011 20:21

after she washes her hands

sicofthsht 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:24

Face it. Not every girl is a **** start wannabe. If she says she doesn't want it there, she's not saying, "Ram it in there, Stud!"

MisterTie 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:57

Definitly, a major win for the girl! Lmmao

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:05

Hahahaha wow

tinfire 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:19

hahaha all I can is laugh lol

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You deserved it 6 766

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The Top

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 425

You deserved it 9 239

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I agree, your life sucks 27 145

You deserved it 1 960

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 076

You deserved it 5 683

Today, I discovered that my husband's recent business trip to France was actually a filthy holiday in Blackpool with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 100

Today, I watched my manager take his entire in tray of customer complaints and tip them straight into the recycling without reading them. At least this explains why we are consistently the “best store in the region for customer satisfaction.” Now I don’t know what to do about what I saw FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 126

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 050

You deserved it 13 810

Same thing different taste

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