By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 755
You deserved it 89 100
November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Jimboom 11

Dumbass. Should have had a wank beforehand. Or learn to slow down when you think your about to pop. Pull out, kiss her a little, maybe try some different positions. But if this performance is anything to go by then it's not your work that your girl is annoyed with. It's the lack of ******'s she is having from you.

109 5
mich23 10

it might have been smarter to just be like, im going to turn my phone off so that i wont get any business calls, plus you plan could have backfired so much b/c she could have been like "go into work, i was just being selfish" and then you would have to leave

100 3

Comments

XxGivesMEhellxX 0

the real fyl is that you only last 5 minutes

1 1
MTL_er 0

Hahaha this is definitely an FML... sucks buddy, shoulda taken your time. Rookie mistake.

1 1
spfccmdbtt 0

the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray... apparently, so do the worst

0 0
Aldebaran_fml 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, made my day...... YDI Next time try to make you friend all in 5 minutes *lol*

0 0
zbots 0

Protip: If you ********** 10-15 minutes beforehand (depending on your recovery time), when it's time for the real thing, you'll feel like superman. Also, some women can't ****** through regular sex. Try oral and see if that does it for her.

3 0
dontforceit292 0

king of kings ur comments really r worthess. go out in the real world and get some instead of sittin behind a computer screen makin fun of ppl. but for the dude who this happened too..its all good. this stuff happens. but next time ur gonna bust b4 u want to go in deep and wiggle around. ur girl will love it (i know mine does) and itll give u time to refuel. if not, just let her know ur gonna bust and if shes good then go for it if not pull out for a few seconds

0 0
Victoria2103 0

Hahahaha. You're a right stud, aren't you? That's just fabulous. Thanks for giving me a good laugh. :P

0 0
EFFyourlifecait 0

why would you even answer the phone during sex. wtf

0 0
ellameno 2

5 minutes? From start to finish? REALLY? Don't you guys even kiss? The poor girl.

2 0