Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work...

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 755

You deserved it 89 100

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Same thing different taste

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 158

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 662

You deserved it 4 166

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 10 557

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 221

You deserved it 5 969

By Jamie - 10/03/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 907

You deserved it 3 998

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 979

You deserved it 2 961

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 826

You deserved it 4 307

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 542

You deserved it 2 450

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 931

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:37

Dumbass. Should have had a wank beforehand. Or learn to slow down when you think your about to pop. Pull out, kiss her a little, maybe try some different positions. But if this performance is anything to go by then it's not your work that your girl is annoyed with. It's the lack of ******'s she is having from you.

mich23 10

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:34

it might have been smarter to just be like, im going to turn my phone off so that i wont get any business calls, plus you plan could have backfired so much b/c she could have been like "go into work, i was just being selfish" and then you would have to leave

Comments

nodbor 11

Wednesday 1 April 2009 10:56

no foreplay, just the old in & out, what's wrong with these people!!!!!!

genki008 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 19:07

this whole thing is wierd

were_giraffe 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 23:24

playing games to keep a relationship going? yeah that'll work. and ouch... haha

angelslayer 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:45

5 minutes..... thats sad.....

emptyego 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 17:20

lmao @ 45. XDDDD; That sucks, man. I'm sorry. It's nice to see you care enough for her to try something like that, though!

AkihiroHattori5 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 0:45

ooh that sucks, I feel bad for the poor guy.

izbity 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 0:55

i dont get it

Kiairra 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 3:13

Haha, sucks for you dude.

SallyRagDoll 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 22:55

Sucks you last that long, what's even worse, there's sex toys that can outlast you.

zaadam2 5

Tuesday 7 April 2009 1:27

In general, if you are inexperienced at sex or are just starting to have it, you won't last that long to begin with because your shaft and krap isn't used it. The more you do it, the longer you will be able to last. Plus, the more you have sex, the more tricks you pick up that will help you last longer and give her more pleasure. I've figured out alot of things. I know what spot on myself that will make me cum quicker and I know what to do to make sure to last long. My first experience I had sex for 5 or 6 hours with out finally finishing up. It sounds like you aren't like me at all, most aren't. I'm just in the small minority. Just keep working at it dude, you'll be fine.