By nahalDZ - 20/10/2012 17:29 - Germany - K?ln

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 492
You deserved it 5 328
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Top comments

pennies_lane 6

****... I wonder what you do to the alarm clock in the mornings.

377 11

Comments

0RedPenguin0 8

That sucks. You can't really explain those bruises to him

4 1
CallMeMcFeelii 13

I was think more along the lines that she joined an underground fight club. Who wouldn't believe that?

11 0
sunshinethehuman 9

A fishy excuse might lead them to believe he is abusing her

4 1
ICastillo 24

Damn I'm guessing you were in prison before with that reaction.

80 3
dead247 13

Never been to prison but I have woken up with fists ready.

3 0
ratorr2 23

Who did you think was touching your dick that you had to punch them? Do you often have this problem waking up with people touching you? Most guys would have been glad to wake up to a hand job. YDI

9 40
Villy23 12

How does he deserve it? Because he doesn't like being molested in his sleep? Not everyone likes it, there's nothing wrong with that.

16 4
russfml 31

When your sleeping it's not always apparent that it's your significant other.. Why even ask lol

15 1
Futacy 29

I'm pretty sure you'd do the same thing if you woke up to something/someone grabbing your junk.

4 0
Villy23 12

Do you always immediately wake up completely aware of your surroundings? Many people often don't, especially if they are woken up out of a deep sleep rather than waking up on their own. It usually takes a second to get your bearings, and a second is all you need to instinctively lash out.

0 0
junkman6 22

You guys are idiots. Maybe if he was in prison he has an excuse for this! My ex used to wake me up with handjobs/******** and I never thought someone's touching my junk I must smash their face!

1 0
deathtothepix 26

Well not if you tell him you punched his daughter for touching your dick. Make up a less x-rated story. Like you elbowed her in your sleep or something? Shit happens!

17 0
Kallian_fml 21

My boyfriend is exactly the same as OP. I tried waking him up with a handjob about 5 minutes before reading this FML. Now he's still asleep and I'm sitting on the couch with an ice pack...

23 3
Villy23 12

I understand OP. Because of my past, I am very wary of people touching me in my sleep. I once punched my boyfriend because he tried to kiss me awake. It was instinctive, and I felt horrible about it. :-(

12 1
greenie213 23

This is why I'm glad that I don't have the punch-the-scary-thing-in-the-face reflex.

13 0
ICastillo 24

But you're the Hulk you punch everything. Hulk smash'!!!

15 0
lazyfoo92 4

I agree. hello there California girl:P

2 6
SenselessPattern 12

You might want to lock your doors, 74. Spongebob is on the prowl.

0 1
LairaIsKindaCool 6

74, I usually hate commenting on something irrelevant to the FML, but the girl in your profile picture is actually Dacey Loxx. I'm scared to know what you actually look like if you feel a need to have a fake picture.

3 0
secretsymbiote21 5

reflexes, **** them right?

1 1