Love: Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes... - FML

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 896

You deserved it 16 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 536

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 761

You deserved it 5 672

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Spicy

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 926

You deserved it 7 811

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 148

You deserved it 1 277

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 559

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 261

You deserved it 14 872

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 632

You deserved it 4 871

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 3 843

Next

Top comments

Tippssy 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:32

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

Darkon 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:07

That is awesome!

Comments

madame_malfoy 4

Sunday 2 August 2009 9:14

yes...FYL because you have a girlfriend with a sense of humour...oh woe is you...

The_Batman 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 9:26

lmao i think i love your gf haha thats awesome!

futurecatlady 2

Sunday 2 August 2009 9:58

Your girlfriend is awesome. This is not an FML.

Aleenie 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 10:04

I named my boyfriends penis... Squirtle.. : |

soccergirl15_fml 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 10:29

Hahahaha. It's ******* hilarious how many people are like at least it wasn't (names all the lame ass pokemon). Hahah. Gotta know your pokemon shit. LMAO.

Chamale 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 11:25

You should name your girlfriend's ****** Cerulean Cave, because it takes a ton of work to get into... Incidentally, despite the wimpy name, Nuzleaf is the only Pokemon that can learn Growth, Harden, Pound, and Seed Shooter.

chris_247 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:58

hey,I'll trade u my Snorlax for ur nuzleaf,but professor oak has to make the operation.

wanagetjagked 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 12:37

Dat is one awesome girlfriend! LOL

THysios 2

Sunday 2 August 2009 12:41

hahahaha, so not an FML. rofl to the comment, u can say squirlte i choose u. haha

PeteyRiverstool 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 16:35

/dies I find that hilarious

marcelomelo 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:25

squirtle hahahahahaha thats sad man

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 590

You deserved it 5 125

Today, my side chick decided to call my wife and inform her about the affair I was having, all because I slammed on the brakes in the car to avoid hitting a cat and made her spill her frozen yoghurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 4 330

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 429

You deserved it 3 481

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 445

You deserved it 9 353

Today, my sister refuses to talk to me because I didn't post her a "Happy birthday" in an Instagram story. It seems that the iPhone 12 I gave her as a present is just not enough. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 111

Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 144