Love: Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes...

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 894

You deserved it 16 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 112

You deserved it 10 954

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 536

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 756

You deserved it 5 671

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 925

You deserved it 7 809

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 144

You deserved it 1 274

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 319

You deserved it 559

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 259

You deserved it 14 872

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 629

You deserved it 4 869

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 598

You deserved it 3 842

Tippssy 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:32

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

Darkon 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:07

That is awesome!

Comments

terkwashere 0

Monday 3 August 2009 4:51

this is the best fml thread i have ever read.

deathjam294 0

Monday 3 August 2009 5:59

i love squirtle!!! hey think about this when your right about to cum yell squirtle water gun attack!!!! lol

ughagan 0

Monday 3 August 2009 6:16

Dude thats not that bad..... My gf named mine "my little pony".

alyse0_fml 0

Monday 3 August 2009 6:30

lmfao so funny! Have you named her pussy yet? DO IT!! :D My hispanic boyfriend named his dick Pepe xD lol pay-pay the pee-pee

ilpdec2008 0

Monday 3 August 2009 6:35

Never before have I been jealous of a FML poster.

AAAAHHHH12 2

Monday 3 August 2009 6:43

...

hubblejubble23 0

Monday 3 August 2009 7:17

that's funny

apparentlyeasy 0

Monday 3 August 2009 7:49

hahahaha #106 was SO good. lol

Sinbadass 0

Monday 3 August 2009 8:13

NP just name hers Mamoswine! :D Moveset: Odour Sleuth Mud-slap Endure Scary Face lol

crazybongos 0

Monday 3 August 2009 8:56

OMG ROFL I love your girlfriend. Just tell her that her ******'s name is kirby. It swallows up everything and anything.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 345

You deserved it 61 852

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 2 773

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 4 152

Today, my piano teacher told me that she "forgot" to inform me that she volunteered me to play a 5 page song in a recital in front of 300 people that's happening next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 942

You deserved it 3 354

Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 529

You deserved it 939

Today, after I missed in school for two and a half weeks, I also missed three tests. Now I gotta work for all of them during my holidays and read two books for school. My holidays are just gonna be like school, but with more work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 786

Today, I pulled a muscle by doing absolutely nothing and now I can’t bend over without excruciating pain. I’m 15 and exercise regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 133

Same thing different taste

Size Queen

Call me by my name

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