Love: Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes...

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 896

You deserved it 16 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 536

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 761

You deserved it 5 672

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 926

You deserved it 7 811

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 148

You deserved it 1 277

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 559

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 261

You deserved it 14 872

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 632

You deserved it 4 871

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 3 843

Tippssy 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:32

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

Darkon 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:07

That is awesome!

Comments

pwnchovilla 0

Monday 3 August 2009 11:19

aww. I love squirtle! :D

LA_Barbie 11

Monday 3 August 2009 13:21

lol this reminds me when Kate Hudson names his penis in "How to lose a guy in 10 Days" Princess Sophia Hahaha!!!! yea that sucks though not a manly name

Nickel05 15

Monday 3 August 2009 19:30

lol one of my exes actually let me name his penis princess sophia. it just shows how whipped some guys are.

Swimmergrl9244 1

Monday 3 August 2009 21:52

Are you kidding? Think of all the WONDERFUL things you can do with that!

jenkinhima 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 1:28

lol rofl cant breathe how is this an FML at ALL?! ur girlfriends awesome

flyboy200444 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:06

haha mines freddy... :/

stone_light 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 3:21

"Squirtle use Hydro Pump!!!" ... It's super effective!!!

stone_light 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 3:24

"Squirtle use Hydro Pump!!!" ...... It's super effective!!!

SXWJOSH 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 4:37

You know what funny story but i also gave my own penis the same name

HagelBagel 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 9:57

Could have been worse. She could have called it Frodo.

AloysiusWeasley 15

Tuesday 4 August 2009 10:14

Team rocket's blasting off agaaaaain! :D

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 168

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 345

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 347

You deserved it 4 401

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 516

You deserved it 10 355

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 6 254

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug-addicted friends into my home while I was away, where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 5 425

Today, I was barely out of the shower when someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was my husband, I opened the door wearing just a bathrobe. It was my husband. With two cops. "Do you know this man?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 442

You deserved it 582

Same thing different taste

Size Queen

Call me by my name

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