Love: Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes...

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 894

You deserved it 16 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 112

You deserved it 10 954

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 536

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 756

You deserved it 5 671

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 925

You deserved it 7 809

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 144

You deserved it 1 274

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 319

You deserved it 559

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 259

You deserved it 14 872

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 629

You deserved it 4 869

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 598

You deserved it 3 842

Tippssy 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:32

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

Darkon 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:07

That is awesome!

Comments

frannytrois64 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 10:22

Looool your girlfriend rocks. Squirtle, use water gun!! XD

AkuRoku 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 11:03

Mmmm. Sounds sexy. xD I would so play with your Pokeballs.

bayners123 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 11:49

Ah that happened to me too: now every time we're about to get steamy, "Gimli" makes an appearance...

onecoolcucumber 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 19:32

Your gf is very, very weird.

gtfwdr 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 20:13

po-ke-mon!!! i hope shes not one to "catch them all.."....lmao!!!! i love this soooooooooooooo much...itas my all time favorite! =]

chocoLIFE_fml 2

Tuesday 4 August 2009 22:15

lol

cheeter 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 11:24

Just awesome!!! I named my balls Latios (the Big one) and Latias (the small one) xDD

sonicx25 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 21:18

Name her boobs plusle and minum XD.

staceybby 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 1:02

that really isn't an fml. that is just pure awesome.

alley_cat_118 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 3:31

YDI for not having already named your penis. Me and Burt Reynolds get along just fine.

cheeter 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 11:22

SQUIRTLE SQWUIRT!!! thats an awesome name!! thank her! Squirtle is hard and can shoot really far!! :D Not the biggest but don't complain.

FreezBoy 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 4:30

Squirtle use hydro hump!!! Squirtle squirts out the pokemon MUK (backwards: KUM)

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Weird Underwear Animals Dogs Cute Halloween Fire Awkward Smells Love First Dates Scary Phobias Work Embarrassing Shopping Kids Therapy Health Friends Mental health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

The Top

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 3 280

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I'd recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 854

You deserved it 5 091

The Top

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 441

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 528

You deserved it 2 375

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 957

You deserved it 24 283

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 191

You deserved it 1 379

Today, after we recently married, my husband wanted kids and I didn’t, so we agreed we’d have at least 5 years child free, then have one child and one only. I just tested pregnant. Despite all our precautions, I actually got pregnant on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 303

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 287

You deserved it 2 984

Same thing different taste

Size Queen

Call me by my name

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