Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 283

You deserved it 7 890

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Same thing different taste

Not now, dude

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 7 319

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 153

You deserved it 14 889

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 285

You deserved it 29 243

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 18 568

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 8 240

By notsohandy - 03/01/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 947

You deserved it 8 126

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 973

You deserved it 19 174

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 7 399

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 573

You deserved it 4 588

naddification 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:28

You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.

JohnnyPhoenix31 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:30

Did she use her tears as lube?

Comments

mason012 0

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:38

It was her choice, and you got the better end

d00z3r 8

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:39

She sounds like a real..... *puts on sunglasses* tearjerker....... *YEEEAAAAHHHH*

HatredEmpowersMe 3

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:56

That might be the best comment ever

fuzz97 23

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:41

And THAT'S how you know she's a keeper, OP.

MonGuillaume 2

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:48

Obviously not hard enough.

sxdryv 14

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:49

Why the F is she crying while giving u a hj? Personally I would be the one crying, I hate Hjs they're such a tease!!! Just suck it or f@*k it!! I can give myself a hj better anyway!

eveplox 3

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:54

probably why you do so ever so often, then

CaptainPickles72 18

Tuesday 3 January 2012 1:58

Personally, I'm with ya on that! I can give myself a hand-job, but I don't mind one if I know that's all I'm gonna get, or we're taking it slowly and building up. If that's the case then I'll give my tired old ***** hands a night off and let the girl do what she wants!

roseXthorns 8

Tuesday 3 January 2012 2:00

Learn to ******* type. No one cares if you actually type '****'. No one wants you to use symbols or use 'u' in place of you. One last thing in my little rant; it's 'hand job' if you can't take the time to write it out instead of using a stupid acronym, then you shouldn't even be commenting. You just may come across grammar nazis like me.