Animals: Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head...

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By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 04:03 - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 288

You deserved it 5 049

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 532

You deserved it 3 244

By Wendie - 18/04/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 555

You deserved it 8 592

Release the selfie!

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 352

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 7 777

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 3 378

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 398

You deserved it 4 663

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 879

You deserved it 2 683

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 785

You deserved it 11 021

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 603

You deserved it 5 397

By JohnMackSquirts - 19/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 115 423

Kamon97 23

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:56

Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:06

like you've never ran into a glass door

Comments

Jarod2015 5

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:52

How did you type this if you need a guide dog?.. If you need to trust him with your life, I'd bet you can't see.

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Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 157

You deserved it 9 638

Today, I arrived home and it was freezing. I asked why the windows and doors on the terrace were open and my roommate told me it was because she'd mopped the floor… on the terrace. The terrace that's outdoors. She thinks that this way the floor would dry faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 102

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Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

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You deserved it 5 989

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 515

You deserved it 2 880

Today, as I was talking to my hubs about replacing a tire on my car, said tire blew. I don't have a spare, and I don't get paid till tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 143

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 056

You deserved it 3 740

Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 504

You deserved it 1 642

Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 053

You deserved it 1 006

Same thing different taste

Release the selfie!

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