Intimacy: Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service,...

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By jackie89 - 10/08/2014 19:26 - United Kingdom - Redruth

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 609

You deserved it 7 461

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 16:24 - Cyprus - Limassol

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 612

You deserved it 4 596

By Anonymous - 26/07/2009 17:00 - France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 757

You deserved it 58 959

By ashlee - 31/08/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 524

You deserved it 4 655

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 163

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 11:12 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 450

You deserved it 48 399

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 6 033

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 51 026

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 17:02

Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 2 904

Snitch

By Elissa - 23/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband sent me some flowers while he's away from town on a business trip. The flowers were beautiful enough that I almost forgot the screenshot his best friend had sent me, where my husband bragged that he'd "probably be drowning in dick when she gets the flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 61

By perfectlybrokenx - 24/08/2010 04:21 - Canada

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 797

You deserved it 52 214

Nymeria_fml 25

Monday 11 August 2014 0:31

*cough*Insensitive*cough* Oh, excuse my coffin.

theasian007 11

Monday 11 August 2014 0:33

I hope I'm not a bad person for thinking this would've been hilarious

Comments

josejukes 3

Monday 11 August 2014 5:42

I wood make a dick joke!

AquaManatee 8

Monday 11 August 2014 5:46

Hah, that joke is to DIE FOR.

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 11 August 2014 5:55

That's funny. In an inappropriate, wrong place, but still funny kind of way.

JRtheSnowman 5

Monday 11 August 2014 6:15

That is morbid and funny as hell how did you not laugh

JRtheSnowman 5

Monday 11 August 2014 6:17

I would want people to be like this at my funeral

charcharthunder 18

Monday 11 August 2014 6:29

Aw, cute c:

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 11 August 2014 7:00

Some people are into that. Just push the body over and do it right in the coffin.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 11 August 2014 7:09

Was the service that boring to him...and he even fell asleep

Vanessa_Leeann26 17

Monday 11 August 2014 7:25

You gotta admit, he's got jokes! Haha

FabCee 18

Monday 11 August 2014 7:42

thats so wrong but funny

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I agree, your life sucks 28 914

You deserved it 5 562

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You deserved it 177

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You deserved it 2 859

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I agree, your life sucks 13 893

You deserved it 988

Today, I ran for the train that was about to leave. I tried to hold the doors open with my leg and got stuck. The conductor just yelled out how unbelievable and ridiculous I was and waited 2 minutes to finally release me. Everyone was laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 135

You deserved it 17 308

Same thing different taste

Revealing

Mind your own beeswax

Snitch

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